Dream Journal
I had received a package slip in the mail and the sender’s phone number listed on the slip was B’s. At the Post Office there was a very long line of people and five workers at the counter. I was called to the first worker on the left and handed him my slip.
He looked at my slip, picked it up, and stood still. I waited, wondering what he was doing, when the worker at the far right of the counter called the next customer. The couple behind me headed that direction but the man helping me called to them and told me that I had to take my slip to the person on the far right.
When I handed my slip to the woman, she nodded and said that they don’t get many packages and not everyone knows what to do with them. She disappeared in the back for a bit, and returned with a very large box with all four flaps opened at the top.
She had to set the box on the counter to reposition the things inside the box and I could see picture frames in the box I didn’t recognize. On top of the box was a framed photo of Pam and me, underneath which were a lot of other photographs that I only half recognized.
The woman gave me the box and I tried to stuff everything back in and close the flaps, but I could only get it half closed. I put it on top of my other box and left the counter. On my way our of the Post Office I almost dropped the box and had to prop it against the wall to keep it from falling.
I put the box on one of the tables in the foyer and decided I would make two trips to the car. I went back inside with Steve and he picked up the box with ease. There was a typed note sitting on top of the box informing postal customers to not leave their mail in the building unattended. I threw the note away.
The parking lot was dark and my car was difficult to find. Then we were at a store; we went in and Steve grabbed a cart. Everything in the store was very cheap because they were having a huge sale. We walked past the personal care section and Steve spotted a shampoo made of beans. He picked the bottle up and said that he had wanted to try some of it, but decided to not get any.
Then we were sitting across from each other at a table with a bunch of other people. A woman in her late 30s was standing nearby drinking alcohol and asked Steve to hold her drink while she left to do something.
When she returned she was naked and hopped into Steve’s lap. He put his arms around her and leaned in for a kiss, but she leaned back. He tried again and again she pulled away. Then he sat back, disinterested, and she leaned forward and put her hands on his face. I didn’t like her.
Themes: B, Pam & Tina, Steve
B’s sister asked me to pick her up and drive her to the movie theatre at the corner of 9th and 5th Avenues. I don’t really want to, but she asked so I took her.
I followed a car there; we took a long roundabout way around a large corner. I parked the car at 5th and 9th Avenues and waited for her. My friend Bjorn came out of the building and gets into my car. I wasn’t going to wait for B’s sister and drove off.
We stopped at a buffet to eat lunch. When we went in, there were pews lined up around tables. There were a few people sitting at a long table ready to eat, but otherwise the place is very empty.
I wandered upstairs and see that we had walked inside of a church as they were about to start a potluck. We needed to get out quickly without causing a commotion, but a man asked me why we weren’t staying. There was a cage around my car making it very difficult to get in, but we do and are able to leave.
I was then walking down the hallway in the back of the mall with Tina, Pam, and Tina’s new boyfriend. The hallway was lined with gorgeous dresses. We touch every dress as we walk by and talk about which we’d like to try on.
With no one else in sight, I suggested that we try the dresses on anyway. I pulled one down off of the wall and found that it was on a very simple hanger. I saw that it was a size 9, so I put it back. The next dress was also a size 9, and so was the one ofter that. All of the dresses were a size 9, which was too small for us.
As we walked further and further down the hallway, the dresses kept getting shorter and uglier, but all still the same size 9.
Themes: B, Pam & Tina
The city was flooding and cars were having great difficulty traversing the roads. The roads had become all muddy and deep with water, so many people abandoned their cars to get out and walk.
I walked down the sidewalk with a friend, the sidewalk was not dry but still not yet fully submerged, and we decided it would be the perfect time to rob WalMart.
The city was very large and very condensed, and all of the stores were small with a plain gray vestibule leading onto the street. We stepped into the gray vestibule and found the locked panel high on one wall. It looked a lot like something from Star Trek.
My friend tried to open it but her key didn’t work, which shocked us both. Back out on the street we tried the next door and it’s gray vestibule. There was another locked panel identical to the last one, but this time my friend’s key worked. There wasn’t a lot of money in there, but we took all of it anyway.
We went in the next door and as we were taking the money I saw Tina at the end of the hallway standing and talking with some other people wearing white medical jackets. I went down the hallway to find out what they were doing even though my friend thought it was a bad idea.
I held a book open to a very nice poem, and I started reading it aloud for a presentation that was to take place that afternoon. I had requested to read this poem because I had heard it before, but I only knew the first stanza. I didn’t practice at all with it and I had no idea of its rhythm.
As I was reading it aloud for the first time I wondered if I could find a different poem that talked about someone giving her heart away, a figurative image of love to portray a tactile image of organ donation. My mom suggested that maybe I should just read the first part of the poem, the part I knew, because the rest of it sounded so bad.
I went off to look for a pen to change the poem and ended up in Tina’s office. I couldn’t find a pen, and I accidentally bumped her computer mouse, turning off her screen saver. I knew I shouldn’t look at her computer, but when I glanced at the screen it was an empty desktop. I knew she would know I looked at it but I just left it.
I went across the hall to look for a pen and my friend found me. We went outside and back to WalMart where she unlocked the gray panel. She was wearing a dark gray wool pencil skirt and white button-up; she was very skinny.
As we put all of the money into bags I wondered where she found the key. We got into my car and I tried to maneuver my way down a slight incline, wondering if I would make the turn at the bottom, but the roads seemed to have dried out a bit and there were other cars on the road.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was walking down a small road lined with shacks and falling down homes. It was very dark, and I had a sense that I was underground. I stopped in front of my uncle’s home, a disintegrating two-story building. I knew that no one was home, so I stood there staring at his home for some time. Two people ran up to a corner of his house, threw torches into the building, and then ran off.
I watched his house catch on fire. I pulled out my cell phone to dial 911, but it rang through to an informational hotline. I hung up and looked at my phone: the last number I had called was not 911, but some other three-digit number. I tried again and successfully reported the fire.
I continued down the dark and dirty road and met up with Pam’s family. Pam’s brothers were running all around and I stood at their mantle looking at family photographs. Pam had a terrible harelip, and I wondered if she would ever find someone to marry her. But then in a family portrait I saw that her mom had an identical harelip, and she married and had four children.
I found my uncle at my parents’ large house up on the hill, but he didn’t seem concerned that his home was burning. I tried to get him to go to his house, but he preferred to hold a glass of beer and look at my parents’ view of the bay.
I went down the hill to my uncle’s house and found that the fire had gone out on its own pretty quickly, and only the upstairs had been damaged. I told myself that he could still live in the downstairs of the house if he wanted.
I walked down the side aisle at church and spotted an empty seat by Tina near the center aisle. After much consideration I decided that I would try and mend things between us and started to move down the row toward her. I stopped a few feet from her when someone came from the center aisle and took the seat I had wanted. I stood still for a moment and Tina’s sister saw me.
I turned around, made my way back to the side aisle, and found a seat directly in front of Tina and her sister one row up. I was angry that she had let the seat I had wanted go to someone else. Her sister said, “Look who is sitting in front of us, Tina,” but Tina didn’t look.
I was so angry that I stood up, turned around, and punched Tina in the face three times. I ran out of the sanctuary and down the hallway to othe bathroom. My mom found me crying and convinced me to take a walk with her.
We walked down the sidewalk toward town and away from the church. I could not stop crying deep and heavy sobs, and now I was also afraid that I was going to be arrested for assault and battery. I could hear sirens coming from town, but my mom and I kept walking.
Themes: Pam & Tina
Pam, Melissa, Loren Absher, and I were at a night club partying. When we got back to the church parsonage it was very late and very dark. We were putting our regular clothes back on when the youth pastor’s wife Cindy came over from the church and demanded to know where we had been and what we had done.
I got into her face and asked why she needed to know all that stuff about us. She told me that the church needed to track all of our spending and asked what we had bought and where we had gone. Speaking for the group, I refused to give her any information, saying that we had as much of a right to privacy as anyone.
Themes: Melissa, Pam & Tina
I was in a new town spending some time with friends. I spent the night at Danielle’s house. Her bed was hard and the room cold, making it difficult for me to sleep. The boiler went out and her little brother went outside to unscrew and then tighten a valve. He unscrewed the valve too far and lost it.
The next morning I drew a crude map to my next friend’s house on “Seth Street.” My friend didn’t really live on “Seth Street,” but I used it because it was a generic name for the main street in town. The map showed that this main street was a giant loop around the entire town.
A cab picked me up and I showed him the map. He pointed out that “Seth Street” was the real name of Danielle’s street.
I hopped on the back of his motorcycle and we drove around a bit trying to find my next friend’s house. All of the houses were numbered randomly and did not sit in a straight line. I told him that the family had six kids, so it was probably a large house. We swerved in and out of a handful of houses until we found the right one: a large mansion.
I walked inside the mansion and find the family finishing breakfast. Pam sat at the table and is the friend I was going to see, but this is not her house of her family.
She jumped up and, before saying hello, introduced me to the oldest of the kids in the family, a girl, who hugged me tightly instead of shaking my hand as I expected. I was introduced to all of the kids who each hugged me. I could barely understand their names, so I just hugged them back.
I asked the butler what they were saying and why they were all pointing over my shoulder. He points out that all of their names were listed on the wall there in the dining room. They all had names like Te, Ta, and Ti.
No wonder I couldn’t understand them.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was walking down a school hallway with a lot of other teens toward my next high school class. I was not wearing pants. I thought about how it felt an awful lot like a dream, but I knew that I was not in a dream.
Tina had my pants, and she was just ahead of me in the hallway. I only needed to catch up with her. As I caught up to her, I saw another friend (also without pants) put mine on. What was I supposed to wear?
Themes: Pam & Tina
I walked through a room and saw Pam sitting in one corner of the room on a long bench. She had pulled her legs up around her and I could tell she had been crying even though she wasn’t currently. After a moment of indecision, I waved for her to follow me through a swinging door near where she was sitting.
She followed me into a park outside with tall green trees. We babysat some children together.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was pregnant, and I could feel the baby pressing against my cervix, but there was no pain. I tried using my hand to keep the baby inside of me.
I was in a white dressing room with Lacey. There was a nurse outside of the room handing me towels and such. This was one of my scheduled checkups. I opened the door to hand the nurse some stuff, and saw that she was bundling up a bunch of chicken pieces and lettuce from the back of a blue pickup (the tailgate was down) to shove under the dressing room door next to mine.
She said the girl’s name, Tina, to get her attention. The nurse had left a few pieces of lettuce behind, and I went to grab them but she said it would be fine without them. I knocked on the door and said, ‘Tina, sweetie, are you alone?’ She said she was and I knew that it was the Tina I knew. I opened the door and gave her a big hug because I knew she was pregnant and going through it all alone.
We picked up all of her stuff and she moved into my dressing room. While the door was open Lacey tried to run out of the dressing room, but I managed to restrain her physically. Tina kept saying that it was so weird that I was pregnant, though I thought it was much weirder that she was pregnant, being unmarried.
Melissa was then there and Lacey gone. Melissa and I lied on our elbows on the floor with pillows, stretched out watching Tina as though we were having a slumber party.
A waiter in a tuxedo came to our door and asked if we needed anything. Melissa told him that she really wanted to go, and she wanted to buy the silver Porsche that was idling at the curb. He told her that he was sorry, but such a purchase would require a loan, and they did not do loans there.
She was very upset. I told her that if she wanted to go somewhere, she could borrow my new car. It was even silver.
Themes: Melissa, Pam & Tina
My mom stood in the middle of the road facing me. She was quite a distance away, and a light breeze tousled her hair.
Tina stood in middle of the same road facing me. She beckoned me to follow, but I won’t.
Themes: Pam & Tina
Tina, Melissa and I got onto an amusement park ride. The ride was brand new and was a bright blue and lime green. Once we were strapped in, the operator (my old band conductor), asked me if I wanted to control the ride for its first spin.
Very excited about it, I got out and quickly went to the control panel. Pressing a large white rubber pad starts the ride. When I pressed the pad, nothing happened. I pressed it numerous times and yielded the same results. Tina and Melissa get off the ride and go to the bathroom while I work on getting it started. I press the white pad with both of my hands and most of my weight and the ride starts while Tina and Melissa are still gone.
Next to the white pad are a number of colored square controls that make the ride move in random ways. The ride is situated inside of a room with paneled walls.
I pushed on the red pedal; it made one part of the ride elevate. This part scrapes the wall of the room. The room is not large enough for everything this ride can do. I press the red pedal again to make the section go back down.
Themes: Melissa, Melissa, Pam & Tina
I decided to go to the old spot our high school group used to hang out at (but only in the dream). I walked into the coffee shop and see three individuals of our old group sitting in our old corner. I stand in front of them all. I lean down on my right and give Loren a big hug - he is very happy to see me but doesn’t stand up.
Izzy is sitting in the middle of the three and he asks me some questions about work. He asks me where I have worked the longest in the time since we have seen each other. I tell him that I have been at my current job for just over two years. He is impressed.
Pam is sitting on my right, Izzy’s left, and at this she gets up from the group and leaves; she is obviously upset that it has been more than two years since we have spoken and she doesn’t know anything about my life.
She makes her way to a plush chair in another corner. I sit in the chair with her - there is a lot of room. It is as if we are very small children sitting in an adult recliner. I am on her right; our shoulders are touching. She won’t look at me. I tell her I am sorry.
She turns toward me and I proceed to tell her how angry I was at her. I tell her how I feel it is her fault we fell out of communication because she never replied to my emails, never offered me another form of communication, and never made any attempt on her own to contact me. She feels awful.
She then tells me about her college experience. She mentions that if you cannot bring any of your own fabric, there is an area where they stockpile all kinds of fabric. She learned how to make clothing and was able to teach her mom over the phone.
We are sitting at a pick nick table in a park and she wants to show me something she learned while making clothes. She takes two long pieces of thread from her pocket and proceeds to tie tiny knots in them. She then wraps each knot in a small paper cube. The knots are approximately a centimeter apart.
Since I can tell her project will take a while, I wander around the park waiting for her to finish. Periodically I will wander back by the pick nick table to check on her progress; she is always engrossed in her knotted threads.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was sitting on the floor in a hallway with a group of high school friends just like we did in high school. Loren approached the group and sat down in his usual place. He was dressed very nicely and I could tell he was successful and happy. He said some things to me and then to the group; we were all very happy to see him.
I then heard Danny’s voice in the office at the end of the hallway and knew that he and B were making a delivery there. I got up from the group and hurried to the office. I saw Danny standing in the office: he smiled at me. Through an open doorway I saw B sitting in one of a group of small chairs placed in a semi-circle; he barely glanced in my direction.
Walking back to the group, I lean down and give Loren a big hug and tell him how much I’ve missed him before sitting down.
Then we were in the basement of my childhood church. It was set up for a party with a long table in the center filled with pot-luck-type foods. At the other side of the basement, a small table held a large cake. There were few people in the basement setting up for the party.
Pam stood over the long table arranging and placing plates of finger food. She was wearing a long skirt and heels. I walked past her headed for the cake and she turned to watch me pass. I was determined to not look at her, but when I got to the end of the long table I turned and made eye contact with her. I willed for her to see all the hurt in my eyes.
Ryan and Loren were standing at the cake table: Ryan was beaming. He told me that he had hid the engagement ring for KatiAnn inside the cake. The cake was square; it was covered with black frosting and had a hill of black bead-like decorations on top - it was in this hill that he had put the ring.
Loren and I told him that he shouldn’t have done that. KatiAnn wasn’t the only person that was going to eat from the cake - what if someone else found it? He was still convinced that his idea was brilliant.
From a closed door behind me, I heard what I thought was KatiAnn vomiting violently. I cracked the door open and peeked in. At first I saw a thick pinkish vomit-like substance being tossed onto the floor from a bucket. Then I saw Dan, a man who works at the church, holding the bucket; he was cleaning the floor with this substance, a heavy-duty cleaner.
He told me that he was preparing for the murder: the pastor was going to shoot Maryann in the head tonight just before the potluck. I was horrified that the murder was going to happen so soon right next to the food table and that the pastor would be a murderer.
I feel a need to stop the pastor, but don’t know what to do.
I turned my attention back to the black cake and again told Ryan that we needed to get the ring out of there. He finally agreed and we started poking around in the black hill. Knowing the murder is imminent, I dig my hands in to the cake. I lean over one edge and he the other, scooping frosting and decorations. After quite a bit of searching, the ring has not been found and the cake is ruined.
Frustrated, I turn and see the pastor walking down the stairs into the basement. Maryann’s death flashes through my mind—the pastor standing over her, gunshot wound to the head, her body lying in a large pool of blood, people eating food—and I nearly have a panic attack.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I am in a vehicle and driving very fast away from something. I am crying very hard and my eyes are so blurred that I can hardly see the road. Behind me, Tina is following in her car and trying to get me to stop. I won’t stop for her or anyone else. I need to get away.
I drive into the parking lot at eagle and slam on the brakes, the car skids onto its side as if it were a bicycle. I wiggle out of the car’s window and start running away from it, but I go back to turn the car off.
I run into a parking space. It is slightly dipped, but as I fall into it I find that it is covered with a foot of powdered snow. I crawl farther in and disappear beneath the snow. I am a bit sad that Tina wouldn’t be able to see me in there.
Themes: Pam & Tina
B handed me a diaper. Thinking I’ve never changed the baby’s diaper before, I was excited to do it for the first time.
I was waiting outside an elementary school with a beefy dark blue baby stroller. I can see the playground off to my right and the school right in front of me; I am comforting a little girl who is crying. She is not my daughter, but a friend’s, and I feel very emotionally connected to her. After she finishes crying, I send her back inside to class. My job done, I pack up my stuff and start to leave.
At that time, a bunch of people show up. There are a bunch of women who had elementary age children many years ago as well as Pam and Tina. They come up to me and want to talk. I need to leave, but I cant figure out a way to get away from them. I feel panicked that I wont be able to leave in time.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was at the church. Tina was standing on the stage with her brother. Both of them were standing still and looking at me. Pam was standing next to me, staring intently, and said very slowly that she wanted to leave with me.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was looking inside of a small car and saw Pam sitting in the driver’s seat. The car was not moving, but I knew that it would be soon. She was talking to the person in the passenger’s seat. I could not see that person, but I knew that it was I. Pam was laughing.
Themes: Pam & Tina
Someone else and I were at the supermarket shopping for groceries; I was pushing a cart. I came out of one aisle and saw Robert Greaves, a high school friend, standing in front of me. I gave him an enthusiastic hello and we caught up a bit. After ten minutes of talking, we parted ways.
I walked down another aisle and saw large wooden shelves displaying bread dough. I could buy bread dough in different shapes and sizes. Some were round, some cylindrical, some cubes, and others rolled out flat. They were all stacked on top of and next to each other. I knew that the flat ones were meant for pizza crust because some of the edges had been pinched into obvious crusts.
I walked through the room filled with dough touching many of them as if to check their ripeness. I lifted the edge of one skinny pizza dough, and decided I wanted something else. I turned around and saw Pam and her mother looking at spheres of dough. They did not see me.
Themes: Market, Pam & Tina
I was at a sort of camp and I needed to use the restroom. There was a rule that the boys cleaned all of the bathrooms and the girls fed all of the boys. Walking down the hill towards the bathroom, James (a boy I knew in high school) decided to walk with me. I knew that all he wanted was a bite to eat, and I tried to come up with a way to get rid of him. I told him to wait outside a small building for me to return. I turned and walked away, for the bathroom was really farther down the hill.
I walked through the door and into the clean tiled room. In a stall, I pulled off my left nipple and placed it on top of Karen Garvey’s purse which was sitting on the toilet lid. Looking down, I saw that through my shirt it was obvious I was missing a nipple. I had to find a way to cover it up before I left the bathroom.
By the sinks, I talked with Karen about Pam and Tina and how much it hurt me that they were no longer talking to me. Then the two of them were there and they claimed that they always checked their email and read everything I ever sent. I argued with them, yet they still claimed that they never stopped talking to me. I was mad that they were lying to my face like that.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was riding in the car with Pam one evening. She pulled up to the Post Office and parked the car. We walked in and the building was deserted save for her mother, Karen, who was frantically filling out forms. Pam went over to her and was trying to help and in the process completely ignored me. I turned to walk out of the building and looked back to find that she had not yet noticed. Outside, I stood by her small car looking into the lit building at Karen and Pam.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was at church sitting in the left aisle of pews with Tina. We were standing and finished singing the last song of the service. We turned to leave and standing in the right aisle a few pews behind us was Pam and her mom Karen. Tina and I went over to them. I gave Karen a big hug and Tina hugged Pam. I answered a few questions of Karen’s while Tina talked with Pam. I then said to Tina ‘OK, let’s go’ and turned to leave deliberately without saying a word to Pam. I felt very hurt that she hadn’t talked to me in over a year and did not want to act desperate for her attention.
I saw Pam turn her head away from us with an angry/hurt look on her face. With some animosity I said, ‘bye, Pam’. And I stood there. She looked at me and I was in the process of confronting her with my feelings of abandonment - everything I had ever wanted to tell her was running through my head and was about to come from my mouth - when I awoke.
Themes: Pam & Tina
It was my birthday and someone was throwing me a gigantic party. The banquet room of a prestigious hotel had been reserved and there were many people there - some I knew and some I did not. But that did not bother me because of how much fun I was having. Everyone was called onto the dance floor. I was expecting a dance contest, but instead the DJ passed out climbing harnesses and instructed everyone to put them on.
We did as instructed and realized that each harness was attached to the ceiling with huge bungee cords. I was able to bounce around the large room and almost touch my head to the ceiling. It was a lot of fun. The DJ passed around many different sized Styrofoam balls then said, “Go!” Everyone was unsure of what to do and what the balls were for, so we made up our own rules. It became one large bouncy version of dodge ball.
One boy I did not recognize was lying on the floor appearing wounded. I went to see if he was all right and he nodded his head yes. I turned away and he hit me with his ball. Without speaking and without body language, he communicated to me that I was ‘out.’ With a big grin on his face and an astonished look on mine, I tossed mine at his foot. I communicated back in the same manner that if I were ‘out,’ then so was he. But there were no rules and, therefore, no losers.
When we were done, I put on a large bathrobe and walked back towards my room with my husband by my side. I passed the dinner table and saw an old friend Tina sitting at the head of the table in her best formal gown. Her mother was walking towards the table from my right dressed in a similar manner. I had forgotten that dinner required formal wear. I asked Tina’s mom if she liked my gown, then hurried to my room to change.
My room looked like a room on a large sea vessel with dark wood walls and a small porthole. I checked the answering machine and saw that there were twelve messages. I found this quite odd since we had only been gone an hour or two. The LED that illuminated the number twelve changed into a small text message that blinked and faded and blinked and rotated. I could not quite make out the words. Then the phone rang.
Themes: Hotel, Pam & Tina
B, Melissa and I were all at Fred Meyers doing some shopping. They both decided that they didn’t want to be there anymore and B would drive them both home. They knew that I needed to do some shopping done, so they were going to leave me. I was hesitant in saying ok because they were my only ride back home. They had thought about this as well, and said that they would send Damon back to pick me up.
They left the store and about five minutes later I was done shopping; I checked out and only had a few items in a small plastic bag. I kept wondering why they couldn’t wait around for five lousy minutes. I walked outside, the day was very sunny and clear, but Damon was not sitting there to give me a ride. I decided that I would start walking, and surely he would see me as he drove by.
After walking for some time, I found myself inside an old choir room that was a part of a junior high school. Melissa, B, and a high school friend Tina were in there and were practicing playing the harpsichord with a few other people. Their teacher was middle aged and male. Each student didn’t have their own harpsichord, but instead had their own section on one giant harpsichord. I stood by one section intending to learn how to play a little bit. One girl across from me had her slides and rods all positioned to play her part properly. The teacher came over and yelled at her for not trusting in the music to guide her. He then slid all of her slides back up to the very top and told her to play with the music - don’t wait for the music to play with you.
I left and continued walking down the road expecting to see Damon pull over any moment. I now found myself inside of a small studio apartment. The floors were wooden but unfinished, and the ceiling insulation had not been covered. Three individuals - two females and a male, whom I do not know - were with me as if they were showing me their apartment. The ceiling was very very high, and in one corner had what looked like a stopper in it. I pushed up on the stopper with a pole to see what was on the other side, and then lowered it again. The male asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was looking for possible escape routes.
He somehow managed to climb up into the rafters of the ceiling. Now, instead of insulation, the ceiling was covered in long two by fours. None of which were connected to the rafters. As this guy walked along the ceiling, some of the boards threatened to fall from beneath his feet. I watched as he rolled around on top of the boards and almost fell to the floor. I turned towards the other two standing near the front door, the girl wearing nothing but pink panties. She was complaining that the neighbors walk around naked all the time and don’t close their curtains. I looked at her attire and told her that she does the same thing. Upset, I left their apartment.
Resuming my walk, I finally made it all the way home. A man in a white painters frock ran from my left to a fence on my right as I approached the front door. He changed into a white piece of plastic and lied there at the fence. I went inside and saw mom and Melissa. Melissa was wearing a non-elasticized small bandeau-type top with skinny straps barely holding it up. I, quite upset, asked her why she left me at the store when it would have been only a five-minute wait. She didn’t answer me, but turned to walk up the stairs. I yelled at her to answer me, acknowledge me. But she wouldn’t. I fell to the floor, pulled my knees to my chest and wept quite hard. Mom came over and told me that Melissa means nothing by it and that I shouldn’t get myself all worked up.
Melissa came back downstairs after changing her top into a tee shirt, and tried to act like everything was ok, but I wouldn’t talk to her. Jake Wise came to the door, which was open but for the screen, and asked if we had a certain special key that he has been looking for. I told him that it was right by the fence, and it was white. He searched all around the key but didn’t see it. I grabbed it and told him that this white piece of plastic was it. He was shocked but took it to his father, looking at it with wonder.
Themes: B, Left Behind, Melissa, Pam & Tina
I was in a high school gymnasium (not the high school I had attended) during a basketball game. I was standing up in the bleachers with my friends Pam and Tina. We weren’t talking - just standing. Pam was going to say something, and I knew that it was going to be about her needing to go to bed really soon. Instead, she said that we all had to leave, acting as if we were standing in her bedroom.
I was mad not because she didn’t say what I thought she was going to, but because she was drastically truncating our visit. She reached out toward me to give me a hug and she said something like ‘you’re a great person’ or ‘you’re a great friend’. I was so maddened by this that I shook my head in disgust and backed away so that she couldn’t hug me.
I left the school and was outside walking to my car. The evening was dark already but not cold. I don’t know what time of the year it was. I heard someone coming out of the doors just behind me, and I was certain that it was Pam trying to catch up with me. I didn’t speed up, but I didn’t slow my pace, either. I then realized that I had locked my keys in my car. I saw about 100 meters beside the main entrance was a lighted area with a few pay phones. I walked toward them in order to call home all the while expecting Pam to catch up with me. But then the person was gone, and I realized that it hadn’t been Pam at all, only someone else going to their car. I was disappointed that she hadn’t been pursuing me.
I reached the phones and picked up the receiver to call home. I started to dial the number, but couldn’t remember what it was. My current phone number was on the tip of my mind, but it wouldn’t come out. I pulled out a few thick telephone books to see if I could find it in one of them. There were a few people there now as well, and they offered to help. We sat at a table directly in front of the phone for some time looking for the number when I looked up and saw that there were a lot of people waiting for the telephone - the one I was blocking. I apologized and moved out of the way, letting a guy get on the phone.
At that moment the phone number popped into my head. However, this number was my mom’s phone number, not my current one. But my dreaming self was convinced that this was what I needed to remember. I got back on the phone and dialed the number. I talked to my mom for a little bit trying to arrange a way to get my car home and possibly me. I had the sense that it was very late and I had awoken her. I considered saying that Melissa would give me a ride, when I remembered that she had come with me.
I wondered where she was when Damon appeared behind my left shoulder. He said that he was getting a ride home with some friends; once there he would borrow moms car and come back to get me. I almost felt that he was drunk - a little too giddy for his own good. Definitely not a normal personality for him. I agreed to wait for him to get back here.
I turned around and then I was wearing a short white skirt, white tennis shoes with colorful scribbles on them, and white kneepads. Each kneepad had a loop that hung down about four inches from the bottom of the pad: each end of the loop was attached to one side of the pad. I had the sense that they were very important.
I was in a room with a lot of other people. It was similar to backstage of a fashion show, and I even had my own ‘area’ in which to change and stuff. I approached my area and bent down to fiddle with my shoe. The guy whose area was to my immediate right saw me and squatted with me, grinning. He was romantically interested in me - I didn’t tell him that I was married, but I definitely didn’t hide my wedding ring.
We talked for some time, and I decided to change my shoes. I had two other people helping me change, and the new shoes I was to put on were black stiletto sandals. But at the bottom of the tiny heel was a small flat piece, making the heel look like a capital “L” when viewing the shoe from the side. But I couldn’t get my foot into it because all the straps wouldn’t lie where they were supposed to lie.
Themes: Pam & Tina
I was leaving from a warehouse type store (like Costco or Sam’s) with Pam and mom and someone else (I cannot remember). Mom told me that Katy Stevens (a high school friend I haven’t seen in a few years) had called while I was gone and had promised to call back that evening. Mom and the other person got into the car and drove off while Pam and I walked. I was going to bring some mail to the post office. I felt awkward walking with Pam alone because we haven’t talked in forever, and she wasn’t talking in the dream. It was snowing outside, and there was a well-worn path in the snow that we followed. For part of the way it followed some train tracks. The path got terribly narrow so that even in single file we couldn’t stay on it properly. I fell a few times.
We finally walked up a small hill and, while there, noticed that there was a couple in a bed behind us being very friendly with each other. We went another step and then suddenly there was a couple in the bed in front of us. Neither the couples nor the beds had previously been there. We smiled at each other and, not wanting to scare the couple, but to keep moving, told one couple that we were on the path and just needed to pass through. So we climbed over the bed.
We made it to my room and Pam was no longer with me. I went in and closed the door. I was looking for the mail I had to drop off at the post office and was going to change when my bedroom door was thrown open. There was standing Heath Herrington with his wife and another couple. I asked what they were doing barging into my room this way - he said that I had no right crawling over their bed earlier and he was mad. They all came in harassing me and I couldn’t get them to leave. I had a brush in my hand, which I swung at Heath as he was leaving, but he is much larger than I. So he came back in and pushed me to the floor. I was trying to put on my other shoe so I could properly run, but it didn’t fit. I looked and it was Heath’s wife’s pink sandal that was too large for me.
After much screaming they finally left. I ran down the hall, with the mail, to my Aunt Cris to complain. She was reading a magazine and said there was nothing she could do and I shouldn’t stress it. I was so irate at having my privacy invaded and her being so nonchalant made me even more upset. I went and found mom and she asked if Katy had called yet. I told her no. And she said that it must have been a prank call or something.
Themes: Pam & Tina, Warehouse
I was in charge of cleaning this person’s house while they were gone, and I had recruited some old high school friends to help me (Pam and Amanda), and Amanda told me that Julie said she’d help and Cindy (our old youth pastors wife) would too. We were all sitting in bleachers (outside, I think) and Amanda was super engrossed in something she was doing and Pam was nowhere to be found. I had to tell them that the person who hired me wasn’t home so we couldn’t go do it. I told Julie the same thing, and then sat a few rows back to watch (football game maybe?) - but I was watching the activity taking place in the stands, not on the field/court. I saw Julie and Cindy get up and leave, then Amanda, and then saw Pam go by too. I followed, interested in what they were doing, and they had gotten together to do the job anyway.
But the job was no longer cleaning - it was to put on a children’s carnival. And I was supposed to be in charge, but no one asked me to even come to the meeting. I was quite upset, but let it pass. We started setting up in this huge house, and one night they took all of the kids down into a huge field. I awoke from bed and saw them all running down there. I followed and intercepted my mom and some other kids on their way back. I asked her what was going on, and she said that there had been an important meeting about the carnival - she was surprised I wasn’t there. I told her to stay right there and wait for the others. I remember yelling ‘stop’ to everyone else when they got close and I made them sit down and listen to me. I was very angry, and was ranting and raving about being excluded when I was supposed to be in charge. We were in a big tent and they were sitting at its edges with me pacing in the center. They were all just smiling, almost humoring me - not taking me serious.
Themes: Pam & Tina
My friend Matt was in a large bathtub filled with water, and Melissa, Pam, and I were going to join him. Melissa got in first and slid to the opposite end of the tub - as far away from Matt as possible. Then I got in and sat next to him so that Pam didn’t have to - I knew she didn’t like him. I had a towel held in front of me because I was naked and didn’t want Matt to see - we were, in fact, all naked. As soon as Pam got in the tub (she sat next to Melissa), the bathtub was incredibly crowded. Matt leaned over to whisper something in my ear and he ended up nibbling on it, but at an angle so that the other two couldn’t see. I really liked it, and he did it more and more often. We ended up in each other’s arms making out pretty heavily and I let my towel fall off. Melissa and Pam ended up getting out because Matt and I were taking up the whole tub. I was very aware of our nakedness. Afterwards, back in the living room area, he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. He ended up spending the rest of the night sitting on the toilet with diarrhea.
Themes: Matt, Melissa, Pam & Tina, Toilet