Dream Journal
I turned off all the lights in the office and locked the door because I was leaving for the day. I was walking down the porch steps when B stood up: he had been sitting on the railing behind the door. I stopped when I saw him.
He took two quick steps toward me and then stopped to look down at his nervously wringing hands. He said hi timidly, then turned and accidentally slipped off the edge of the porch into a pile of snow.
There had been bright yellow powder in the pile of snow, and it flew everywhere. He jumped back up onto the porch and, now even more nervous, avoided eye contact and stammered some nonsense while absentmindedly brushing yellow powder off his work clothes.
He managed to ask me if I wanted to go over to Cal’s resort for dinner; that Cal just finished it and it’s beautiful out there. He was very excited about Cal’s resort, and I could hardly believe he is asking me out on a date. I stood before him, silent, while he rambled about missing me and how much he thinks I would like the resort.
His rambling stops and he finally looks up at me. I open my mouth to answer him.
Themes: B
I brought Steve to the airport to send him back home.
B and I were at my parents’ house, and we were going to have dinner. I went into the basement and saw Steve’s legs poking out of the covers of the couch’s hide-a-bed. Sure the legs weren’t real and that I was just seeing things, I grabbed his legs and he woke with a start.
I growled at him to get up and get dressed because B was home. He grabbed his pile of clothes and ran into the upstairs bathroom. I walked by the door and saw him putting on his costume overalls from Halloween.
B starts to walk into the kitchen from out on the balcony when I stood in the doorway and blocked him. I said, “You know what I would like? It’s such a beautiful clear night and I can see all of the Homer lights perfectly. I’d like to eat dinner on the grass outside.” He was surprised, but willing to change plans.
I asked B to go downstairs and grab a blanket to sit on while we ate, but he insisted in coming inside first. I worried about him finding Steve, but Steve had slipped out of the bathroom. In the dark, Steve came out of Melissa’s room hunched over and mumbled an excuse before going back into the bathroom.
B looked at me, rolled his eyes, and said that Melissa had some of the weirdest friends.
Themes: Airplane/Airport, B, Melissa, Steve
I was at my parents’ house and found that B had built an apartment onto the house. He was very proud of the apartment he had built and insisted he show it to me. I stared with my mouth agape, too shocked to say anything as he showed me the large living room and beautiful wood floors.
He led me out onto the deck with a beautiful view and turned around to hug me to his chest. He said that he was sorry for everything and wanted me back. He squeezed me tighter.
Themes: B
I stood in an organ donor’s dorm room. I told B that no one had wanted to look through her things after her death, but I would because it was very important.
Riding down the dorm’s outdoor glass elevator looking over the snowy campus, I asked Jeff if he remembered how we were when we first met. He leaned close and I wanted to kiss the soft spot under his jaw and feel his arms around me. There were two others in the elevator unaware of this tension between us.
At my mother’s house, I asked her to try the three different kinds of ice cream I was testing for Steve’s birthday. She refused to taste them, saying that she doesn’t like coffee, but I convinced her to try them.
I took the ice cream maker into the back room to clean it in the large tub sink. I ran water through each of the metal and plastic pieces, flushing out all of the leftover ice cream.
Done cleaning the machine, I went back into the kitchen and found the small white cups of ice cream untouched and melting. I was annoyed at my mom for not trying them like she said she would.
B and I walked into a nearly empty pub and sat down at the bar. He ordered a beer and a woman beside me asked what was on the bottom of my bottle.
I picked a bottle up and saw that it had a wooden token imprinted with a saying stuck to the bottom. I tore off the token and a man came around the corner, growling that we took his seat and his beer. I apologized and stood up leaving B at the bar.
I wandered into another room, bored by the people and the atmosphere. Aunt Judy was in the other room, so was Meg. I gave them both very big hugs.
I was then in the care driving home when I heard a scratching sound in the very back. I asked aloud, “What are you doing?” Taylor was lying on the floor in the back scratching at the speaker; I told her to stop it.
At home, I let the dog out. My neighbor was standing on their back porch and staring at my apartment. Lacey urinated and we went back inside, but she acted antsy. I let her back out, but she still didn’t calm down. All the while, my neighbor stood on the port staring at my apartment.
I turned on the television inside and all of the channels are just static. I picked up the phone and hear a strange static-y sound and then silence. I picked up my cell phone, but it was blinking a battery signal even though the batter was fully charged.
I knew all of this was because of the zombie invasion. I wondered how I would communicate with family and wondered where B was. I picked up the phone again and waited through the static and the silence until an operator came on.
I asked her why the phones were down, she said that they were only down locally, but I could make a long distance call. I thanked her and wished her hope on what would surely be a long ande stressful shift, and we hung up. I wondered about the internet, whether it would work because it was a cable connection instead of a phone line.
I went into the office and tried to draw the curtains very slowly without turning on the light becase I knew the neighbor was still watching my apartment, and he creeped me out.
B walked through the door and handed me a piece of paper with EMERGENCY written at the top in big, bold red. He had filled it out with his name and phone number and address, then wrote a special note to me. The note was hardly legible because of tears in the paper, but the last part said to get to New York if I could.
He went into the computer room and sat down at the computer. I came in after him and saw he had replaced my lamp with a huge bright super lamp with many, many small light bulbs all over it.
I asked if he could move it over some because it was shining in my eyes. He got upset and said no, that it wasn’t too bright. I looked at the bulbs and saw that half of them were 100 watt, and the others were 40s and 60s. He disagreed, said they were all soft 40s, but moved it back a bit anyway.
I sat down at my computer directly to his left and was annoyed at his presence. It had been a very long time since we had used the computers together because of his schedule, and I had gotten to like it.
I pulled up my black and orange, swirly website and thought about posting something about the zombie invasion, wondered if I should wait until tomorrow since I had already posted something that day.
I waited for my email to load to see if my family had tried to contact me and he opened EverQuest. I was upset that he would take the time to play a game when we had to move into survival mode.
B was on my computer and found an email that Kelli had sent to a woman online. In her email, she told this woman that her husband Mike liked to watch her masturbate with another woman. There were pictures attached to the email of Kelli in a corset sitting on her bed.
B had replied to Kelli’s email how disappointed he was that Kelli would disrespect her husband by propositioning a strange woman. I was furious that he had gotten into something that wasn’t his business.
Then I was standing in a field next to a large pile of rocks. A man approached the edge of the field and stopped because he was afraid of me. I ignored him, remained calm, and picked a rock out of the pile.
The band of my shirt had been pulled up over my arms and I didn’t want to flash the man. He followed me out of the field. We stepped onto a bus and sat in the back. I had to explain to a man a few rows in front of me that I was showing the caveman the city.
Judy had invited me to Jayme’s birthday party despite having just divorced B. It was a lovely sunny afternoon and I sat at an outdoor table with Judy and another woman.
I was having a very nice time and was in the middle of telling a funny story when Melissa snuck up behind me and kissed my forehead so lightly that it tickled. I giggled, rubbed my forehead with the back of my hand, and turned around to tell her to not tickle.
When I had turned back to the table to resume my story, Judy had sat back in her chair when previously she had been leaning forward and engaged with my story. She was rolling her eyes and shaking her head in disapproval.
I didn’t understand why she was so upset that my sister had interrupted my story. I got up from the table and went inside the cabin where the others were.
I excused myself from the party and went into the tree house to use the bathroom. When I sat on the toilet, a man opened the door. He saw me sitting on the toilet topless and apologized for interrupting. I wondered why I had taken my shirt off and told him that he wasn’t interrupting.
He came in and went to the other side of the room: it was a large sewing/craft room with a toilet in one corner. I reached to the floor on my left for my shirt and wonder how weird it would look without my bra on. I thought the man was very attractive, tan, broad shouldered, and curly sandy blonde hair.
I was sitting in my parents’ living room reading a magazine on the couch. The sun was streaming through the large picture windows facing me. B sat on the ottoman between my parents’ chairs, perpendicular to me.
B was on the phone with his dad. He told his dad that we had gotten back together, that I was completely head-over-heels for him. B was so happy and excited. I turned the pages of my magazine stoically, pretending to not listen to the phone call.
Themes: B
I sat at my work computer, looking at Rachael’s desk across the room. I wanted to tell her about B’s text message, but she wasn’t there yet. She finally arrived all aflutter and distracted. Her friend arrived, and they discussed something important at her desk. I decided to not wait any longer.
There was a large crowd outside the church because classes were starting soon. I could see a camera operator and reporter standing on the sidewalk; I waved to the camera and then noticed it wasn’t pointed at me.
I pushed my way through the school kids and, once inside, headed for the bathroom. I found the two bathrooms inside had been combined into one classroom because the church needed more space.
I saw a small closet on the left side of the classroom that had become the women’s bathroom. Inside the small closet I found two doors into the small toilet closet. The other door had a large hole in the bottom of it, as though the bottom panel was missing.
I spent a lot of time trying to block the hole by propping up my bag, then saw that the toilet wasn’t attached to the hole in the floor. I looked for the men’s bathroom, but it wasn’t enclosed behind walls yet.
I looked at the toilet for a while. My mom walked into the classroom and asked if I was ready to go.
I had received a package slip in the mail and the sender’s phone number listed on the slip was B’s. At the Post Office there was a very long line of people and five workers at the counter. I was called to the first worker on the left and handed him my slip.
He looked at my slip, picked it up, and stood still. I waited, wondering what he was doing, when the worker at the far right of the counter called the next customer. The couple behind me headed that direction but the man helping me called to them and told me that I had to take my slip to the person on the far right.
When I handed my slip to the woman, she nodded and said that they don’t get many packages and not everyone knows what to do with them. She disappeared in the back for a bit, and returned with a very large box with all four flaps opened at the top.
She had to set the box on the counter to reposition the things inside the box and I could see picture frames in the box I didn’t recognize. On top of the box was a framed photo of Pam and me, underneath which were a lot of other photographs that I only half recognized.
The woman gave me the box and I tried to stuff everything back in and close the flaps, but I could only get it half closed. I put it on top of my other box and left the counter. On my way our of the Post Office I almost dropped the box and had to prop it against the wall to keep it from falling.
I put the box on one of the tables in the foyer and decided I would make two trips to the car. I went back inside with Steve and he picked up the box with ease. There was a typed note sitting on top of the box informing postal customers to not leave their mail in the building unattended. I threw the note away.
The parking lot was dark and my car was difficult to find. Then we were at a store; we went in and Steve grabbed a cart. Everything in the store was very cheap because they were having a huge sale. We walked past the personal care section and Steve spotted a shampoo made of beans. He picked the bottle up and said that he had wanted to try some of it, but decided to not get any.
Then we were sitting across from each other at a table with a bunch of other people. A woman in her late 30s was standing nearby drinking alcohol and asked Steve to hold her drink while she left to do something.
When she returned she was naked and hopped into Steve’s lap. He put his arms around her and leaned in for a kiss, but she leaned back. He tried again and again she pulled away. Then he sat back, disinterested, and she leaned forward and put her hands on his face. I didn’t like her.
Themes: B, Pam & Tina, Steve
Damon and I were doing something in the living room and I called into the kitchen to ask if I could take a shower as I pulled the straps of my tank top over my shoulders. Judy stepped out of the kitchen very excited to see me. I was shocked because I didn’t know I was in her house.
I could hear the water running in the upstairs shower, so I went down the hall to shut it off. By the time I got there, the water stream was very small: Judy had turned the downstairs shower on for me.
I turned the water off and turned to leave the bathroom, but Sarah stood right behind me. She had a huge grin on her face and shook my hand vigorously. I gave her a hug and asked when her new husband would be back. She stiffened and her smile faltered briefly. “Soon,” she said.
I walked through the kitchen to the now-running downstairs shower and B walked into the bathroom behind me. Sarah tried to shake his hand as well but he told her to go away.
I demanded to know what he was doing there. He had lost a lot of weight and had just freshly shaved. He closed the door behind us and told me that two of my brothers — John and Marty — had gone down to B’s cabin in Homer to beat B up.
I stormed out of the bathroom and found Damon. When I told Damon what happened, he said that he had agreed it was a good idea. I was furious that they had interfered. B and I sat and talked for a long time. He wanted me back, but I told him that wasn’t a good idea.
We were flipping through a few copies of a home catalog while driving down the road. Then our car lifted off the ground, and I said, “I guess we’re flying to Anchorage.” I was upset that I hadn’t agreed to this.
My legs were folded underneath me and I didn’t want them to be cramped for the whole hour’s flight, but the plane was very small and I had trouble moving. I worried that Steve would surprise me at the airport; he wasn’t supposed to meet me but I would put that kind of surprise beyond him. Steve would be very upset that I was with B, and I didn’t know what Steve would do.
I thought about going back to B and renewing our vows. I called Kiana and asked her what Marty had done to B. She laughed and thought it was funny, but I was very angry.
Then B said something about the catalog and in frustration I called him Stephen. I closed my eyes and hoped he didn’t notice, wouldn’t know that I was living with Steve. But when I opened my eyes again I could see he was hurt.
Then B and I had stopped at a garage sale with Damon and Dana. We all carried copies of the home catalog, and when Damon started reading a passage aloud, B realized that he was missing the first page. He was angry about it and I didn’t want to tell him that I tore it out because I didn’t want him to see it.
I was looking for a wheelbarrow at the garage sale. They had a lot of furniture and some pies, but no wheelbarrow. They kept offering us pies and Damon told them we were going out for dessert after the sale, so no thank you.
I was then in a restaurant with women singing on stage. The lead singer stepped forward. She was a very large woman with very large breasts, but she wore no bra. Her large, flat breasts flopped down to her waist. I turned to Steve and asked if he saw, but he didn’t.
The woman turned very dramatically during one song and her breasts fell out of the thin fabric holding them in place. Her areolas were very large and dark. I was horrified that this was happening on stage.
I came home from work. My apartment was in a dilapidated apartment building. There was a large table in my entryway with people sitting around the table with a projector. I asked one woman at the end of the table what was going on, and she informed me it was a board of directors meeting.
My landlady stood up and I asked her what was going on and why they were all in my apartment. I said that I get off work at 4 and needed my apartment after that. She didn’t apologize or make any excuses. I knew I needed to be more direct and angry with her, but I couldn’t.
My landlady asked to meet me upstairs. The building was more like a hotel than an apartment building, and I wasn’t paying her a lot. I wasn’t sure what my rights were under the law. I worried that she would kick us out.
Upstairs, with none of the lights working, I sat down with her and B. She opened her book and listed her grievances toward us: all of our books on the bookshelves surrounding the apartment were too heavy, causing the bookshelves to bend and would break soon. I didn’t realize the books were that bad, but B knew.
Also, we were supposed to ask her permission if we had more than 50 guests over, and we hadn’t. I asked her when that was: she said that one night she had left to go to the store, and when she came home, the parking lot was too full to get her car back in.
I remembered the birthday party I had thrown weeks previously. I apologized for not notifying her and said that I hadn’t realized that many people would show up.
She listed a few more things we had done wrong, and then said that on a whole we’ve been great, the best tenants she’s ever had, but we needed to be out within the next two weeks.
I was panicked, not knowing where we would go. I tried to bargain with her, that if only she would let us stay and lower our rent a bit, we could fix the place up really nice for her. But she wasn’t interested in fixing the place up. We had to move out.
Themes: B
B’s sister asked me to pick her up and drive her to the movie theatre at the corner of 9th and 5th Avenues. I don’t really want to, but she asked so I took her.
I followed a car there; we took a long roundabout way around a large corner. I parked the car at 5th and 9th Avenues and waited for her. My friend Bjorn came out of the building and gets into my car. I wasn’t going to wait for B’s sister and drove off.
We stopped at a buffet to eat lunch. When we went in, there were pews lined up around tables. There were a few people sitting at a long table ready to eat, but otherwise the place is very empty.
I wandered upstairs and see that we had walked inside of a church as they were about to start a potluck. We needed to get out quickly without causing a commotion, but a man asked me why we weren’t staying. There was a cage around my car making it very difficult to get in, but we do and are able to leave.
I was then walking down the hallway in the back of the mall with Tina, Pam, and Tina’s new boyfriend. The hallway was lined with gorgeous dresses. We touch every dress as we walk by and talk about which we’d like to try on.
With no one else in sight, I suggested that we try the dresses on anyway. I pulled one down off of the wall and found that it was on a very simple hanger. I saw that it was a size 9, so I put it back. The next dress was also a size 9, and so was the one ofter that. All of the dresses were a size 9, which was too small for us.
As we walked further and further down the hallway, the dresses kept getting shorter and uglier, but all still the same size 9.
Themes: B, Pam & Tina
I was on a yacht with Melissa and another girl. I sat down hear the failing to eat and dangled my feet over the edge. I’m not wearing any shoes but the other two girls are, so they stay away from the edge so as to not drop their shoes into the water.
Other people arrive in a small boat and I go down to help them. I held the tether with one foot in the boat and the other on the dock. They all got out of their boat an headed up the dock. I was annoyed that everyone had left me to tie up their small boat. I tossed the rope I was holding up to the railing where I had been sitting and tied it off, proud that I had remembered how.
Then I was in an upstairs room getting dressed, wondering what to wear. Peggy Hill — from King of the Hill — had a huge fight with her husband Hank. She decided she would wear her wedding dress to the party, but she would alter it first. From the top of the stairs I could see she was beautiful in her flowing white dress and wind-tossed hair.
Her wearing the dress was a symbol of her independence from Hank. I knew it irritated him, but he didn’t know what to do about it. I went back to my room and was unhappy with my dress options. A friend came in wearing a long sating slip dress, and I wondered if that would be too informal.
I was in my parents’ basement and wondered where B was. I walked down the hall passed the laundry room and saw that the next door was closed. I was naked, so I picked up the dog and held him so as to completely cover myself, but also casually so as to not appear to be trying to cover my nakedness.
Holding the dog, I went back out of the hallway and asked Melissa, who was playing the Nintendo in the living room, if she knew if B was in the room. Keith was sitting at the dining table and looked up at me. I felt extremely naked, but I kept my eyes on Melissa who wouldn’t look up at me. She said that she was sure B was in the room, but when I asked if he was alone or if his roommates were in there too she didn’t know.
I went back down the hallway and tried to open the door, but it opened outward and there was something blocking it. The room was pitch black but I could kind of see that there was only one large bed, so I figured he was in there alone in our king bed.
I tried moving the large thing blocking the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Someone was next to me all of a sudden and pushed on the wall on the other side of the object and it gave way enough for me and the dog to get in.
I could see someone under the covers, and wasn’t sure if I should let the dog wake B, if I should wake him, or if I and Lacey should just get into bed to sleep. As I was pulling the blankets back to get into bed, the dog jumped on B and woke him up.
He looked at me with surprise and then immense happiness because he hadn’t seen me in months. He rolled over and gave me a full body hug, only I wasn’t in the bed completely so we fell off the edge; we barely fit between the bed and the wall.
We didn’t fall immediately to the floor but floated down slowly. He was very, very happy to have me back, but I was having trouble moving pinned between the wall and the bed and under him.
Themes: B
I walked into my new office at work and found it dimly lit by one small desk lamp: that is how the girl in the position before me liked it. I noticed that the office was much, much larger than I had originally thought. I went to the other side of the room to look for a light switch.
Around a wall I saw a door open a crack. I peered through the crack and sw someone in a different company sitting at their desl. I backed away from the door so I wouldn’t be seen. I found a light switch on the wall behind me and flipped it on.
When the lights came on I saw hundreds of toys and craft projects half finished and half assembled. The girl in the position before me had been assembling samples for the big event coming up and I wondered how much work it would take me to determine the status of the project, how many she had completed and how many were left to do.
I heard someone step into my office; I turned around and saw B. I wondered how he had found where I worked. He stood with a smile on his face, happy to see me, and tried to give me a hug which I skirted.
He said that work had sent him to the area and since he had the day off, he wondered if we could go out somewhere. I told him that wouldn’t happen, and besides, I still had to work. He turned and stormed out, which is when I noticed he was wearing the shortest of denim shorts.
I raised my hands in exasperation and yelled, “What?” He came back a little while later looking very nice with different clothes on. He proceeded to tell me how much he missed me and I asked him what he wanted. He tried to give me another hug and I let him, but I cut it short.
Again I asked what he wanted, and he tried to pull me away from my office to go for a walk with him. I told him I had to stay and that he should go. He asked for my number but I told him again to go.
Themes: B
B was taking Lacey outside to go potty. He put her leash onto her collar and then walked outside onto the deck. He pulled up on her leash very tightly and pushed her over to the edge of the deck.
Thinking she was going to fall off the deck, she flailed her legs and tried to get away from the edge. B pulled up on her leash further so most of her weight was hanging from her collar and pushed her back over to the edge. He held her up by her leash while she struggled to not fall.
I stood watching all of this unable to do or say anything to him hurting my dog.
Themes: B
I was lying on my back on the floor of a bedroom and B was lying on his back on top of me. We both lied extremely still so as to not admit that we were having sex. I didn’t want him to know that I knew he was inside of me.
I came across B’s blog. I didn’t know that he had a blog, but someone pointed it out to me. It was very spartan with a white background. His posts were short and nearly incoherent, but one talked about his seeing a Dahlia in Fairbanks. I recognized the name Dahlia, and after a bit realized that she was a prostitute in Fairbanks.
I was then talking to my father on the telephone, and I asked him about Dahlia. He told me that he had gotten Dahlia as a present for B. I was so angry with him to be interfering, and I told him that he had no right to do something like that.
I was at the Anchor Point church for a wedding. The church was tiny and the sanctuary only had two rows. B’s family sat in the front pew; I smiled and walked briskly past them, almost pulling B by the hand behind me.
Around a corner I saw the rest of the pews, but there will still only three or four rows, with others sitting in them. My group of friends sat in the front pew and left no room for me so I walked to the next to last row and sat down.
A woman standing in the aisle to my right held a guitar and began playing for the audience, but I quickly realized she was just plucking the strings in time with some background music: she wasn’t using the frets at all. I had a guitar which I laid flat on my lap and plucked along with her, happy that I could play along and that I had discovered how untalented she really was.
Melissa sat in the row behind me, and when the guitarist sat down Melissa got up and stood in the aisle while the next musician set up. The next musician started playing and Melissa started singing and dancing animatedly. The people around me were uncomfortable with her display, interrupting the performance as she was, and they looked at me to do something.
I watched her for a bit more before standing up, taking her by the wrist, and pulling her to my pew. I sat on her left and told her that she was interrupting, so she had to sit still next to me. I put my right arm around her shoulders and squeezed her.
After the music stopped, we were in some sort of video game where we did tasks and searched out items and were awarded points. Dick and I were a team, and we wandered around to see the other teams’ progress.
The game took place in underground tunnels and caves. We went just left of the central game headquarters into the biggest, darkest cave in the game to check on another team. They were deep into the cave and were working on a project that required wooden planks. They needed one last plank, so one of the team members pulled a plank from a wooden gate near where Dick and I stood.
I looked at the ceiling structure of the cave, and noticed that a little deeper in the cave walls turned from rock to cement. Standing at the intersection of wall materials I could hear traffic above me and determined we were under a bridge.
Studying the intersecting wall materials more, I realized that the wooden gate from which the other team tore their last plank had been supporting the bridge. I tried to inform the group that the concrete infrastructure would likely collapse on top of them, but they were too engaged in their project to listen.
Dick and I left them and went back to the central game headquarters, a large, open cavern. The cave we had been in exited on top of a tall cliff in the cavern. I grabbed Dick’s hand and swung out over the cliff face, setting my feet on the cavern wall to the side of the cliff. Dick lost his balance, however, and fell over the cliff.
I swung back to the edge of the cliff and increased my grip on his hand. He started to pull me over the edge, but my weight had slowed him down enough that when I did go over we didn’t fall very fast. We landed at the bottom safely.
I was sitting on the couch watching television, and B sat down on other end. He had a huge slice of Chicago Stuffed pizza, and told me that there is pizza if I wanted some. I asked him if there were olives in it, because I do not like olives.
He is silent for a few beats, which I take to me there are olives in the pizza. He turned and looked me directly in the eyes, and answered my question with another: Does it mean something bad that I don’t wear my wedding ring?
Themes: B
Michael and I were going on a short cruise that departed from the bottom of my mom’s garden. Before the boat left, we wandered through some shops and Michael convince me to buy two bikinis for the trip.
We had planned some on-boat snogging with my new bikinis, but once we got on board we noticed the layout of the boat was too open to allow for any personal special time. We wandered around a bit and finally sat down on a bench. I sat on Michael’s lap facing away from him and he wrapped his arms around my waist.
We had some blankets over our laps, and then I felt Michael penetrate me. I hadn’t expected it, but was happy that we were able to do it with so many people around.
I pulled the blankets further up to our chins as if that would hide us from the other passengers. Holding the blankets with one hand, I grabbed Michael’s left hand with mine and tried to guide it toward my clitoris, but he was fumbling and didn’t understand what I wanted. I had an orgasm before he could touch me.
Then Michael and I were standing in the boat’s large kitchen fixing sandwiches for a picnic and I knew B was in the adjacent room. I tried to keep our voices low so B wouldn’t hear, but I knew that B had heard Michael and I talking about our successful coupling on deck. I didn’t want to confront him about it, just to enjoy the rest of the boat ride with Michael.
It was the day Michael was coming to visit me. B and I stopped by my mother’s house and while they were chatting in the kitchen I sneaked into her room.
She had storage drawers underneath her bed, and I opened the one directly underneath her pillow. Right on top was the black lace bustier I had put away. I pulled it out, stuffed it into my bag, and turned to leave when I realized I had seen something else in the drawer too.
I reopened it and saw a large, neat stack of lingerie I had bought and then gotten rid of without ever wearing. As I touched every piece I saw myself wearing it. When I came across a brightly colored short satin slip with matching panties in the center of the pile, I remembered looking and feeling really great in it, so I grabbed that too. Way far in the back I saw a pair of jeans and wondered briefly if I could fit into them again. I didn’t have time to pull them out and check.
Back at home, B sat on the couch watching television and Michael was upstairs with me. I hugged and kissed him, excited to see him, and knew we had to get out of my apartment without getting caught.
I started down the spiral stairs and kept Michael on my side away from B’s line of vision, but soon the stairs turned so that Michael were directly in his line of sight. I pushed him to my other side again, and I tripped a bit which caught B’s attention.
B looked up and saw Michael’s head peeking out behind mine, and asked if it was Damon. We were near the bottom of the stairs and I pushed Michael down the hall where he couldn’t see him and told him it was Damon, and that we were going out.
I followed Michael down the hallway and he told his parents we were leaving. He had brought his parents to visit me, and they had brought some dogs. The three of them went out to the car and as I was going out his dad ran back in to get something for one of the dogs; he said we couldn’t leave without it.
Finally we all made it to the car which was small and black. As Michael’s parents climbed in the back seat, B climbed in between them. Michael was standing outside the passenger door stooped over to get in but stopped when B got into the car. B was excited to go on this short trip, and sat with his hands clamped between his knees to contain his excitement. I told him, with no explanation, to get out. He was sad that he didn’t get to go, and once he got out of the car Michael smoothly slipped into the car so B wouldn’t see him.
After Michael’s parents settled in again, their three dogs jumped in and I told B that there wasn’t any room for him anyway. I drove off.
Michael’s mom wanted to stop at some little mini-mall groupings that she though looked cute, and I had to explain to her that it was all that made up the tiny town of Fox. I stopped the car for her and she looked out at the tiny buildings, not believing the entire thing was a town.
Michael put his hand on my knee.
It was the middle of the winter and B’s family was staying in a cabin. There were seperate beds for each of the family members but none of the rooms had doors. Jayme and Judy sat huddled together underneath many blankets and said that they were cold. Jayme thought that the cabin wouldn’t be so cold in the summer.
I put on a dark green corset and two necklace things that wound around my waist. I had some trouble clasping one of the necklaces and asked B for help. I stood in the bathroom and he helped wind the necklace around my waist and down the side zipper.
I knew I looked stunning, and asked him if he liked it. He stood behind me looking at me through the mirror, silent for a long time before finally saying he did like it.
Then the shower head spring a leak and sprayed all over the bathroom. He kicked the plug with his foot and it turned all of the water off. His dad still hadn’t fixed it.
Themes: B
I started a voice chat with Michael will B was in the same room. I expected B to get upset or look up but he didn’t pay me any attention.
Then I was sitting in my office at work. Michael had his computer set up in the very back corner of the building where an old coworker used to sit.
I snuck up behind him and moved to kiss him in the soft hollow between his ear and jawbown, but he ducked away from me. He looked around guiltily and said, “Not here.” He then resumed whatever he had been doing on his computer.
I was in a house with B and a woman when we heard a big thud and stuff crashing onto the floor in another room. We ran into the room and found a big impression in the wall where something large and heavy had been thrown at the outside of the house. We heard another sound from the other side of the house and found the same thing.
We went into another room and something large was thrown at the outside wall. This time it almost came all of the way through and I could see it was a person. There were a lot of people throwing themselves at the walls trying to get inside, to get to the three of us.
After many of them had thrown themselves at the house there were many holes they could reach through. I was very scared.
One girl smashed most of the way through the wall and then crawled through a large hole she had created. The edges of the hole scratched at her skin until much of her flesh was torn off. I then knew she and the rest of the people attacking the house were zombies.
As more of the zombies came into the house, their flesh hanging from their skin, I recognized a few of them as my students. I thought to myself, “Can’t teach A500 math students A10 subjects. They just won’t get it.”
I finally found a phone, an old rotary, and the other woman dialed 911 while I swung the heavy receiver around hitting the zombies in the room. I yelled at the phone hoping someone at 911 would send help.
I was in a clothing store with B. He was wandering through all of the racks and picking out tops and bottoms that he thought would look good on me. After we had our arms full of clothes, we wandered toward the back of the store in search of a dressing room.
We walked down a hallway, the end of which opened up into a church sanctuary. There were a few people up near the stage practicing a musical number, and we asked the sound guy if there was any place I could try on the clothes. He nodded his head and pointed to a door at the back of the sanctuary.
B and I went through the door and found a classroom with four doors, two leading into the sanctuary and two on the opposite wall. I closed all four doors and removed my clothes so that I could try the new ones on.
Naked, I gave B a giant hug. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted to have sex with him but remembered that we weren’t supposed to have sex for two weeks according to my doctor. I reached between my legs, pressed hard against my clitoris, and brought myself to orgasm.
When he let me down, Judy opened one of the doors and came into the room carrying a large basket. Beth was lounging on one bean bag and Judy sat down on another. I found a pile of pillows and lied down.
Judy showed us the many dildos and vibrators or various size, shape, and color she carried in her basket. She was selling them and wanted us to buy some. She handed Beth and I each one, and we tried them out lounging on our pillows and bean bags.
The vibrator Judy had handed me wasn’t doing much for me because it wasn’t strong enough. I didn’t want to tell her this though, so instead I told her that because I had just orgasmed I probably wouldn’t do so with the vibrator.
B had asked me to play Counterstrike with him and his teammates, Jason and Bruce. Instead of sitting at the computers to play, we were all inside of the game. We stood in a parking lot across the street from a tall building. The street was dark and smoky, the sky cloudy, and all of the buildings were dark metal.
Our team had been assigned on defense this turn, and we hid behind vehicles in the parking lot. B The offensive team was positioned in the tall building across the street. The other team had the advantage since they could see us from their elevated positions. They fired shots and we jumped behind a van to wait out the gunfire; two cars around me exploded.
We had to keep moving while cars around us exploded. B stayed right with me, protecting and guiding me because it was my first time playing. He pulled me behind a large semi that was around the street corner.
B held a weapon that looked to be a cross between a spear and a rocket launcher. He moved very close to the semi so that the other team couldn’t see him, and he had me stand further back so I could see the other team in the building. He held out his weapon above the semi and told me to keep watch and tell him when his aim was good.
When his weapon was pointed right at the other team, he fired toward the building and the entire building exploded. The game was over.
I turned around and we were in a subdivision with cute houses and white picket fences. The smoke had cleared and the sun had come out. Bruce stood at a BBQ with a frilly apron on, surely his wife’s or his mother’s, and flipped a steak over on the grill.
Themes: B
B and I were attending a wedding reception. We walked into the large banquet hall and saw a lot of beds around the hall’s perimeter. Thy were set up to allow the guests to spend the night like a big slumber party if they chose to party hard and late.
After the festivities B and I lied down on the large bed we had chosen. I snuggled into the crook of his arm and noticed a couple by the doors who only had a metal hollywood frame to sleep on, no mattress and no blankets. They were perched uncomfortably on the frame but looked as though they were enjoying themselves. I could tell that they loved each other so much that their sleeping arrangements didn’t matter.
There were more couples who wanted to sleep than there were beds. We invited the couple with only the mattress frame to share our bed with us and another couple. We slept in the middle between the two couples.
I leaned up and kissed B on the neck behind his ear. I nibbled on his ear and wanted to have sex but he pointed out that we would draw attention to ourselves, especially with two other couples in the bed. I rolled over and, sitting up, straddled him. His penis slid into me and I concentrated on being as still as possible and letting him set the pace so as to not draw attention from the others.
I was then watching B and I from a small distance. Then the action became cartoonized as it zoomed in on our pelvises engaging in a sex illustration. After he climaxed, the illustration turned back into reality and I rolled off of him very content.
I saw the couple who had previously been on just the hollywood frame and thought they must be cold without any blankets even though they looked happy. B and I had two blankets and a down comforter, so I pulled the comforter off of us and offered it to the other couple. They were grateful.
It was during the middle ages. I and another, younger, girl had been taken captive. The master had become attached to the girl and told his goons to not harm her. The goons were jealous of his attachment to the girl and spent all of their time making her life miserable, which meant they basically ignored me.
One night I had gone to her cell and found that she had been sliced in two with a sword, right through her belly button so that her legs and pelvis were sitting next to her torso. As I stared wide-eyes, I was told, “The master ordered it.” I wondered what the master would do if he knew.
I watched one of the men go to slice her in half again, down the center of her cheast, and I left not able to bear the thought of her torure. I wondered how much more she could live through. The master later found the goon sitting with a glass of blood. He raised the glass at the master and said, “Look how much we got from her!” The girl’s head laid severed in his lap.
I sat up in a pool of dirty water and felt someone’s arm tight around me. I turned and saw the body of a dead man lying with me. I stifled a scream and tried to move, but the body was heavy and held me down. I saw that we were on the stone floor of the master’s dungeon. I looked back at the body and remembered that he had loved me, and I was probably the reason for his death.
The body started moving; he had come back alive. He grabbed my arm and told me that he loved me and wanted me. I was scared and stood up. He stood with me. His body had been decaying on the flood, but the decaying process was just starting to reverse.
I put my arms around him, still a bit scared but knowing that he wouldn’t hurt me. We kissed passionately and it seemed to me that we were physically connected by his arm somehow, that he wouldn’t be able to remove it from me if he tried.
I wrapped my right leg around his waist and put it on a stool. We were both naked, and I tried to maneuver so that his penis would slide into me. But every time I bent my knees he bent his, moving his penis further fro me.
I was chatting on my computer with Michael who told me that he needed to go take a quick nap in his Jeep to prepare for the events happening later. Knowing he was in the other room, I asked if there would be any time for snuggling in his Jeep before the nap, because if so then I would be interested in joining him.
I pictured us sitting in the back seat, him leaning up against the side door and me sitting between his legs leaning against his chest. He perked up at the idea, and I headed outside to the Jeep for some snuggling and some napping.
When I got to the Jeep, however, B was there relaxing with two of his friends and the Jeep had turned into a boat. I crawled down into it from the dock and asked what was going on. The two guys mumbled something at me but didn’t move from their lawn chairs. B had his back to me and was fiddling with something. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my breasts into his back and my lips to the small of his neck.
I announced that I planned on taking a nap and lied down on the boat’s deck with my legs draped over B’s legs. Michael came up to the boat and I invited him in. He sat on a bench over my head and looked down at me.
He told me that his sister might join us, and then asked if that was okay. One of the other guys asked what his sister looked like, and I joked that she looked identical to Michael except she wore a different colored tshirt. When she arrived she was moving so fast that she was a bit blurry, but I could tell she looked very much like Michael only in a salmon-pink colored tshirt.
I sat at the computer and opened Michael’s cam page. He was sitting at a dining room table and I knew he was using his new laptop. I said something aloud to him and he walked over to my computer; he had been in the other room. He sat with his back to my computer at another dining room table and Melissa stood on the other side talking to us.
I turned my chair to engage in the conversation, and while explaining something to Melissa I somehow grabbed Michael’s hand. Not missing a beat, I dropped his hand and continued my explanation. I knew that I could grab his hand again below the edge of the table and Melissa wouldn’t be able to see, but I couldn’t get his attention so that he would move his hand closer to me.
The three of us decided to go to the state fair. We stepped through the gates and the skies were overcast. Melissa decided to go off on her own and I linked my hand with Michael’s. I had heard that he had won some award for his writing, and I suggested we go find that.
We went into a small building and were approached by three male workers. They all knew Michael and congratulated him on the award. I browsed the items on the walls and shelves while the four men all sat down in plush chairs.
Michael was now B and had worked with the three men before. They talked about whether anything had changed at the shop, and B asked if the trash was being taken out. He was assured that it was, but he and I went around to all the trash cans, emptied them into large garbage bags, and then put the bags into the alley behind the store.
I stood in a long line with Rachael outside a large bus or trailer. Rachael was first in line and I was second. A woman, the owner, guarded the entrance and was wanting to get rid of all of her stuff.
In order to do this, she handed each of us a pack of 26 small, colored sticky notes. When I stepped inside just after Rachael, I could see she had laid out each of her items very cleanly and spaciously, one to a chair. We were to browse through her items and place one of our sticky notes on the chair of an item that we wanted. Each person got a different color of sticky notes, and after everyone had used their sticky notes we would be allowed to go back through the items and take only three things that had our sticky note color on its chair. This was to facilitate a fair distribution of the items.
I wandered through the aisles of chairs and placed one of my bright pink sticky notes on a chair that held a nice sweater. Only then did I notice the chair already had a bright sticky note. Rachael had gotten pink sticky notes as well, and I knew that would confuse things greatly. I hollered to Rachael who browsed a few aisles away and told her that she needed to put her initials on her sticky notes so as to not confuse them with mine.
I continued browsing and found, back against the far wall, the woman’s large Blue Flower porcelain collection. I was certain that she wouldn’t be trying to get rid of the porcelain items, but then saw a sticky note on one of the pieces and figured I might as well try.
B and some of his coworkers came over to look at the porcelain, and he told me that he hoped we got the porcelain bassinet for our baby. I agreed it would be perfect. Above the porcelain collection hung a large glass windshield perhaps three inches thick. B and his coworkers were immediately interested and the woman came over to talk about it with them.
Outside, I got into the driver’s seat of one of B’s work vans and headed out towards his work site. I went a ways out of town and came to a large, muddy piece of land that had many large and dangerous metal things sticking out of the ground. It looked like a bleak wasteland. I pulled the van into a place where I couldn’t easily swing around, so I did a three-point turn and turned off the engine.
I jumped out of the van and walked over to B who started laughing at me. He told me that no one had ever had to back up a work van in the history of the glass company. I was hurt that I had tried to do something nice for him and he made fun of me, so I walked back to the van and left.
The van then became my car and Melissa was sitting in the passenger’s seat. She had her window rolled down and the midday sun warmed us. I drove down Baycrest Hill towards Homer and we passed a group of teenagers just let out of school.
Shelby ran over and jumped onto the running board of the car. Melissa chatted with her for a bit and then turned to me and asked if we could give Shelby a ride. I agreed and told them that I didn’t have time to stop but that I would slow the car down. While going 20mph, Shelby managed to get the back door open and herself into the car safely.
At the bottom of Baycrest after riding my brakes the whole way, Melissa asked me if I had realized we went through a school zone at 20mph when we were supposed to go 8mph. I hadn’t realized that.
A group of us stole five or six white VW Jettas. B and I took one; he was driving and led the group away though a parking lot.
He tried to squeeze the Jetta between a line of parked cars and one car parked further from the line of cars, but ended up scraping the solitary car and pushed it forward a few feet. At that moment I saw that it was a police car and the police officer was still sitting in the driver’s seat.
The cop got out of the car and walked over to B’s window and I was afraid that we would be busted with a stolen car. B rolled down his window and the cop stepped up to it. All I could see were his legs but I knew we were busted.
Themes: B
I was walking down East Road in Homer when I saw a brand new Dodge Magnum parked just off the right side of, pointed away from, the road. There was a sign in the side window that read “$6000.” I walked up to the passenger side and peered through the window. The car looked like it had been barely driven, and I wondered why it wasn’t on a new car lot.
I crossed the street and talked with the car’s owner, a grizzly looking rotund man. There was something weird about him and the car, but I knew it was a great deal.
He told me the price was extremely low because he lost his keys. He handed me foot-long piece of straw (hay), and I asked what I was supposed to do with it. He said that I was to push it between the top of the window and the frame to unlock the door; if I could successfully unlock the car then he would sell it to me for $6000.
I turned back toward the car and wished I had a slim jim. I wondered how much I would be able to sell the car for; it would surely be more than $6000. I crossed the street and approached the car from the driver’s side when I noticed the window was rolled down two inches and a piece of string was tied around the manual lock.
I knew that if the man found out someone had gotten here before me I wouldn’t get the car. I squeezed my hand through the opening and pulled up on the string, unlocking the door.
Inside the car looked and felt more like a tiny motorhome. There were wooden cabinets above the seats and a large counter between the seats and the windshield. I sat in the passengers seat, dad in the drivers seat, B and Des in the back seat. We opened every cabinet and felt every surface.
We drove off towards the ocean, driving off road through the mud as much as possible. All of a sudden my dad said, “Watch this,” and pointed the car at the cliffs on the right. We sailed off the road and were falling through empty air.
Hills rolled past us, hills that I thought we would crash into at any moment. I screamed but B and Des in the back laughed; they thought it was a great and fun idea. I held my breath as I waited for impact.
We passed over three hill tops when Dad reached his hand out his window fourth hill top, which slowed our descent but also sent the car into a spin. I had no idea how we landed safely.
I sat in the car shaking for some time while everyone got out and went into the restaurant. I finally went inside and found every woman in the restaurant fawning over Des. B and I pulled him away so we could get going, and I asked B what was going on. He tossed me a folded napkin and said, “This.”
I unfolded the napkin and saw a drawing of a penis and a number, presumably drawn by Des to explain to a woman how well endowed he was. The number was so large that I knew he was lying.
B and I headed to the airport with our arms full of luggage. We were going to go to a different country to celebrate our anniversary. The lobby of the airport was very large and made out of glass.
The line was extremely long in the airport. We stood in line for a very long time and got distracted a few times. We poked around in a few gift shops and helped a little girl find her mother. We had been in the airport a very long time.
By the time we got to the ticketing counter, the woman behind the counter informed us that our flight had left not more than a half hour ago. We were devastated.
She then told us that there was another flight scheduled to that country for later that night, and it would be no charge to switch our tickets. I was very happy that we would still be able to go.
Themes: Airplane/Airport, B
It was night time and B and I had run a bad man away from the house we were in. He went out the door and, through a window, we watched him jump into the swimming pool.
I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, B stood behind me. The pool had a thin layer of ice over it, and the man crashed right through it. He climbed out the other side, wrapped himself in a blanket and wandered off.
I told B that the man would not survive because going through the ice like that and crashing into the extremely cold water was just like millions of razor blades.
B’s mom and youngest sister came inside through the kitchen door and started making dinner. They chatted very brightly and were excited to be visiting us. I could not understand why they were not upset that B’s dad had just died.
Themes: B
B and I agreed to drive Jason through town to pick up his truck. I drove my car and Jason went with B in B’s truck, following me.
I did not know exactly where Jason’s truck was, but knew that it was somewhere downtown. I pulled past a parking lot, backed up, and found a parking spot. The parking lot was deserted but for my car and there was no other traffic.
I got out of my car and could not see B’s truck anywhere. I walked down the street the way I had come looking for B and Jason. I thought I saw our truck turn a corner at the end of a cross street and started after them.
I turned the corner, and turned again at the next block. This street was in the middle of Autumn even though it should have been the middle of Summer.
All of the leaves were turning colors and falling to the ground, and many of the trees had either fallen into the street or were hanging extremely low. I had to duck to go under most of them. As I walked by Bob’s house I knew that he and his sin were the cause of the season change.
I walked through the trees by my grandparents’ home. I walked by my parents’ old house and saw dresses, my and Melissa’s old dresses, still strung up on the laundry line. I knew all of the clothes had been hanging there for years, since my parents had moved, and wondered if anyone would come back to this abandoned home and remove all of our belongings.
I walked up the trail we had used to get to the school bus and emerged at the bottom of my mother’s lawn. I walked into the basement door, up the stairs, and found my mom in the kitchen.
I went to her, crying, and told her how B had left me behind, hadn’t even waited for me to catch up. I was distraught and could hardly catch my breath from the giant sobs. I felt very angry and betrayed.
My mom explained that it wasn’t purposeful, and that he would be back. I could tell that she knew where he had gone, but she wouldn’t tell me.
I saw him drive up the road in a dark blue van and pulled into my mom’s parking spot. He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down. He appeared very laid back and was not concerned about losing me. I yelled at him for leaving me behind, and he looked right into my eyes for the first time since he arrived and said, “It isn’t every day that your father kills someone.”
He and my mom knew what he meant by this, and assumed that I knew as well. I was furious that they wouldn’t explain. I yelled incoherently through my sobs. I knew that my anger was not penetrating his nonchalance, so I flipped him off and walked away.
Themes: B, Dad, Left Behind, Mom
I drove my car through a gigantic parking lot and parked at the end furthest from the building so as to be out of the way. My mother’s car is parked there, as is a friend’s truck.
We all drove to the building entrance in my mom’s car and stood around outside talking for a while before my Mom got into her car and left.
I thought I had driven my car to the front of the building, but I couldn’t see it anywhere. I figured I must have left it at the other end of the parking lot.
I was walking through the giant parking lot toward my car when a bus drove by and stopped ahead of me. The side doors opened and the volunteer work group from Ohio leaned out and told me they had an extra seat for me so I would not have to walk.
I told them my car was just ahead, but thanked them for the offer. I walked the length of the bus and B got out of the front door. He tried to convince me to ride home on the bus with him. He wobbled around a bit, his legs gave way, and I sat him down on the steps of the bus.
I asked him what was going on with him. He looked sick and very, very tired. I put him back on the bus and sat him next to Matt. I told them I would be home soon. The bus drove off and I turned toward the end of the parking lot and my car.
An interior hallway now existed where the rest of the parking lot used to be. A professionally-dressed woman walked around the entrance reading some loose papers in her hand. I looked all around and decided to see where the hallway led.
I went down the hall a long way and came to an intersection with another hall. I went back to the entrance and asked the woman if she knew the way to my car. “Take a right,” she told me.
Back at the intersection of the two hallways I saw a door on my left that I did not remember seeing previously. I saw that she meant the hallway through that door and went down it. I followed it for some time and ended up in a mens’ bathroom.
I went into one stall with giant steel doors. There was no handle on the outside, so I had to pull on it from the top to open it. I saw there was also no latch on the inside. I needed to urinate but realized that I would probably be interrupted because that is what happens in all of my other dreams.
Instead of emptying my bladder I stepped out of the stall and looked at all of the toiletry items lined up on the counters around the walls and round table in the center of the room.
The coach was sitting at the table looking through reports. I told him that I had lost my perfume, explaining why I was in the mens’ restroom looking at the toiletries. I picked up one bottle that looked like mine, but it smelled different.
I rubbed the coach’s shoulders, thanked him, and started out the door to find my way back to my car. Another man sitting at the table with the coach sneered and asked if I was really dependent on my vehicle. I knew that he disapproved of my laziness.
I told him yes, I was very dependent on my vehicles, both my car and my bicycle. His face turned red with shame and said, “I didn’t realize you rode a bicycle. But I guess there is a lot I don’t know about you.” And at nearly the exact same time I told him, “There is a lot you don’t know about me.”
I was leaving my parents’ basement with B. Everyone around us was in a hurry and trying to escape the house. I had spent a lot of time talking with one of the guys who lived there and he seemed to develop a crush on me. Izzy lived there as well.
I took one small dog out the basement door, leaving its mate upstairs looking out the windows. I snuck out that night and put the dog in the playhouse down the hill and crawled inside with the dog.
Back in my parents’ house I talked with the boys who lived there and B teased them about their skin care regimen. The boy who had a crush on me yelled at B that every time he buys something to make his face healthier it ‘disappears,’ and we all knew that he meant my mom threw it away.
I took another dog, medium sized and black, out into the dead of the light leaving its mate also upstairs. There were no lights shining from the house and no one could see me. The dog’s mate was upstairs looking out the windows and, sensing us there, starting whining and crying.
I put the dog into the playhouse and tried to crawl in after him but would not fit. With the two dogs the playhouse was too full. The black dog laid down with the smaller dog and was very sad.
Themes: B
Damon and I visited my parents at them home. We went inside and I sat in my dad’s chair in the living room.
Damon wandered around, went downstairs then came back upstairs; he was getting ready because we were going out. He grabbed a small wig from the dining table and put it on over his real hair. It looked the exact same as his real hair in color, length, and style.
Melissa stood in the living room as I worked at putting my hair into a long ponytail. I told her that the function we were going to is very particular about hair.
A volunteer from work came inside and said she was tired of waiting in the car. With her is a medium-sized dog that I leaned down to pet on my way downstairs.
I told B that I was ready to go while the volunteer talked with Mom and Dad at the bottom of the stairs.
I heard the motorcycle start outside and was a little miffed: B’s ankle was still hurt and he should not have been riding the motorcycle. I started up the stairs to tell him we should go in the car when my dad, standing on the very bottom step, reached out his hand and brushed my arm, then my butt.
I stopped five steps above him, turned around, and threw myself at him. He stood on the floor holding his bare foot—he hurt it when he slid down the last step.
I was certain that my action sounded like an accident, that I fell and caused him to fall down the last step, but I wanted everyone to know that I acted purposefully.
So I screamed at him, “Do not touch me! It is inappropriate, inappropriate to grab my ass! I hate you! I hate you for touching me!”
He ran up the steps halfway after me to forcefully shut me up, but I retreated into the dark landing at the top of the stairs and he backed off.
I continued to yell at him, getting closer to the bottom of the stairs as I did. I yell about him touching Melissa and how I would never forgive him for that. He, my mother, and the volunteer all backed into the downstairs kitchen while I continued to yell.
Dad was embarrassed at making a scene in front of the volunteer, so he hand wrote a note on a letter-sized piece of scratch paper, folded in in half, and handed it to me while I yelled. I paused to read the note.
The note was written in a tight cursive and looked nothing like his real handwriting. His note said that Melissa had told him one of her brothers had mistreated her, and he wanted to protect her from that. I looked up at him, Mom, and the volunteer, knowing it was a lie.
Then I was standing with B beside our fish tank in a darkened room. I was feeding the fish but became distracted by the yelling in another room. I dumped a ton of fish flakes into the tank and laughed about the excess.
I opened the frog food container and pinched a few pellets to drop into the tank. B held the bottle for me and started spooning the pellets into the tank.
The bottom of the container was much shallower than the sides indicated, and I though it odd that the manufacturers would want to deceive everyone into thinking they were getting twice as much food than was actually in the container.
I told B that he would make the frog sick and tried to grab the container from him, but he laughed.
I pulled my car into a parking lot late at night. The front tires of my car were dangerously close to the edge of a cliff.
I started to get out of the car when the edge gave way and the tires fell over the edge. I knew that if I got back into the car it would continue to fall from my extra weight, so I picked up the front end a bit and bound the car back away from the edge.
Inside was a laboratory that opened up over the deep ocean. We had placed strong and expensive machinery at the bottom of the ocean and were monitoring them. One large piece of machinery had just been moved when I arrived—a shark had pulled it over to the edge of the cliff and pushed it off.
There was one more piece of machinery, shaped with a large round disk on one end and a long piece connecting it to a smaller cube at the other. I chased the shark that carried the second piece of machinery and managed to grab hold of it before it tumbled over the cliff.
I wasn’t able to hold onto it and it slipped from my fingers. Back on the walkway, my mom was looking through our database for one of the kid’s parents’ phone number. We couldn’t find it.
Then I was in my parents’ home. John and Heidi came in after me and Melissa and Carrie followed them: they had all driven down to Homer together. Heidi went on and on about how wonderful Carrie was and told John that Carrie had made their bed for them.
She told Carrie that Heidi would do something tremendous for her, and Carrie seemed embarrassed about all the fuss. I was jealous that Carrie and Melissa were focused so much on John and Heidi and barely said hi to me.
They left to go see their bed and B and I went for a walk through town. At one street corner he asked me if I remembered a specific incident back before we got married; I did remember it and was surprised he had remembered it.
We headed to a party. Inside there was a main check-in type counter with hard joke-y male thongs hanging below it and plastic toys on top that resembled genitals and hair. I didn’t get a good look at them but knew they were supposed to gross people out.
I was carrying a giant black thong in my left hand and swung it around when I walked by the desk, knocking a bunch of them onto the floor. I told the guys behind the counter that I had my own thong, thankyouverymuch, then became self-conscious of its size and wondered if the guys noticed it was quiet large.
B and I walked down a trailer hallway and I needed to use the bathroom. There was no handle on my side of the door, so he helped close it from the hallway and I locked it with a tiny slide latch.
I sat down and was about to empty my bowels when the door and wall shook. The wall was not made of wood, but of a heavy canvas and so it moved quite a bit.
I thought B was playing so I yelled for him to cut it out. I could see the shoes through a little gap under the wall and they did not belong to B. The man in the hallway dropped to the floor and stuck his head under the wall.
I jumped up and, with my back towards the intruder, pulled up my underwear and pants, but I was still naked from the waist up. I turned around with my arms over my breasts and saw that the man was Bruce.
I yelled at him to get out, but he couldn’t undo the door lock. I unlocked the door with my left hand, my right still covering myself, and he stood in the hallway muttering.
B walked by with a cigarette in his mouth, freshly lit. I was shocked that he was smoking, but the intruder needed to be taken care of first. I told B what had happened and that I was quite upset, expecting him to become upset that his friend had barged in on his naked wife in the bathroom.
He blew smoke into the hall and walked away muttering about how he was “going to do something” about it. I was shocked and hurt that he was taking it so lightly and wasn’t going to do something right then to uphold my honor.
I was making out with B on my parents’ basement couch. I was lying on top of him and could feel his erection. We were both under a blanket; I got up and removed all of my clothes.
I went into the bathroom to wipe my vagina and remove all traces of my blood, knowing that he wouldn’t want to go any further if he know I were still bleeding.
I crawled back under the blanked naked, knowing he loved feeling my skin pressed on top of his. Straddling him, I pulled one pillow from under his head (he had two) to get him in a better position. His head was too low, so I gave him another pillow.
I placed my knees over his shoulders and moved to lower myself over his face. I became more aroused the closer my clitoris got to his mouth. When he realized what I was doing, he turned his head to his right and said, “No.” He told me that he didn’t like it when I had an orgasm.
I got off of him and walked to my room, mumbling bewilderedly, “He doesn’t like me orgasming.” He called me back to him but I closed the door.
B and I were visiting the Church of Christ in Wasilla. On our way inside I noticed two toilets sitting on top of stumps in the yard behind the church building. There were no walls around them.
Everyone moved around a lot during the service, but not in a dancing sort of way. It was more like everyone randomly changed pews. Everyone loved having us there visiting with my parents.
A woman up front held a bell like a microphone and invited B and I up front. As we stood up B bolted out the back door, leaving me standing there alone. I went up front without him, angry that he had weaseled out of this uncomfortable situation.
She prayed over me for a very long time while 80s music played in the background. I sank to my knees in front of her and raised my arms hoping that it would all be over soon. Everyone was dismissed to go to Sunday School and I saw a few women sitting on the commodes out back.
My hair was very pretty and curly. I followed my parents home. In the downstairs bathroom I saw a set of lights hanging over the sink that haven’t worked in years. There was a lot of stuff in that bathroom that hadn’t been used in years.
I grabbed a screwdriver and took down the broken lights, ripping them from the wall when it wouldn’t come off. I took all of the old stuff down.
Themes: B, Left Behind, Toilet
I was running behind Olivia from Law & Order SVU until we were at the scene of a riot or accident. There were a lot of police and emergency workers around. In the middle of all the hubbub were three white cars parked in the snow.
Olivia & I pushed and pulled on the middle car to get it running. We were chasing a bad guy and could go faster with a car. The police officers around us were too busy to notice we were stealing a car, and we hoped we could get the car running before they did. One cop noticed us and came over to make us stop.
B was stuck in one of the other cars; he was involved in the accident. The entire vehicle interior was filled with snow, making it impossible for him to get out. As the rescuers dug B out I kept asking about my dog, if she was okay; she was still in the car. No one answered me about her.
They pulled B out of the car and laid him on the ground next to another guy involved in the accident. Both were unconscious. I ran to B and tried talking to him, but he just he rolled his eyes and groaned. I turned to a rescuer and asked again about my dog, Lacey. He looked at me as if I were crazy and then walked away.
When I turned back to B, a large police officer had his arms around both of the men and had pulled them to their feet. He needed the two men to stand on their feet and walk, but B couldn’t. I rushed up and put my arms around B, telling the cop that I would support him. B leaned hard into me and I almost fell over from his sudden weight. His feet moved awkwardly and he couldn’t get his balance.
I knew B was going to be arrested and was surprised the cop was letting me help B walk; I could have been an accessory and we could flee the scene, for all he knew.
Themes: B
I was in a threesome involving B and another girl. We each took turns being the one on the “bottom,” the one to whom stuff was done. I really enjoyed it being my turn, and it was the girl’s turn last.
B was seated over her head and I down by her waist. I looked up and saw B massaging her breasts. I didn’t like that because I wanted to feel her breasts. I reached up and cupped one breast as I kissed her stomach.
She twisted into a very contorted position that put her vagina right in front of me at head level. She used her fingers to spread her labia and I saw her clitoris. I wanted to touch her or lick her, but looked up at B for approval. He didn’t look up from what he was doing, and though I desperately wanted to lick her clit, I didn’t.
B and I were living in a dorm room on campus that had two twin beds pushed together. I thought that we could maybe afford a small apartment in married housing. One of his male friends opened the door; I had just gotten out of bed and was still naked. I screamed, “I’m naked here!” and sat down in a corner behind a dresser so he couldn’t see me.
We had a baby and I needed to change her diaper. I put her on our water bed and removed the diaper: it was full of poop. A block of poop shaped like a stick of butter rolled our of the diaper and into the crack between the mattress and the side of the bed. I picked it up with my hand and hoped B didn’t see it. I knew that he would freak out if he knew, and I didn’t want to wash the blankets.
Themes: B
I was driving my small car with B in the passenger seat and Lacey in my lap. It was night time and the roads were pretty snowy. I drove down a hill and tool a left turn too fast. I hit the guardrail with the passenger side and flipped the car over it.
The car landed in the ditch upside down. I was still holding Lacey. I asked B if he was okay as I unclicked my seatbelt and fell to the car roof. I crawled out my door and B crawled out his window.
I climbed over the guardrail back into the road and wondered aloud why we flipped over the guardrail. A guardrail is supposed to keep a car from going over it. I stood in the middle of the road and a group of teens walked my direction to help however they could.
Themes: B
I was about to masturbate and grabbed a soccer ball to assist. I briefly considered a basketball, but realized that it would be too rough. B came into the room and almost caught me. I scooted lower into a small cubic space and tried to reposition my legs so that I could continue.
I gave up on the soccer ball and approached him. I pushed him hard onto his back and forced him to have sex with me. He started to say something, but I told him to shut up and pressed further into him. The next night he was getting ready for me to take him again. I climbed into the passenger seat of a convertible and waved to him as we drove away. He looked very sad, which made me happy to make him wait.
A police officer drove me to Kelli’s home. I went down a staircase to her basement. A spider made of different precious jewels was on the wall in the stairwell; it was eight or ten inches long. It moved and scared me.
Kelli was in her basement kitchen boiling eggs in a giant vat of vinegar. The vinegar was stinking up the place. I asked her why she was doing that now, and she said that they are very yummy. She tossed in a large handful of eggshells, which she said would make them better.
I was lying in the front pew of a church B and I were visiting. When the sermon was over, a man who had been sitting further down on my right came over to us and shook B’s hand, then mine. I said my name to him, emphasizing my last name so that he knew B and I were married.
He walked off and no one else even talked to us. B said that man was Jason’s dad. I told B that he could have introduced the two of us properly.
Our coats were on the pew behind us. There were a lot of coats; I looked and looked but could not find my black down vest.
Themes: B
I was in gym class at school. There was a large metal grid laid out over the ground like an enlarged drain gate. Melissa and the other students jumped feet first into one of the grid holes that led under the ground. I stared down the hole where she jumped for a long time before trying it myself, but my hips were too big and I didn’t fit in the hole.
I went into the coach’s office to explain the problem to him. He sat behind his desk and said that if I didn’t complete the assignment, I would fail the class. I knelt on the floor, sitting on my feet, and stared out his window.
I put my face in my hands and cried with every ounce of energy I had because Melissa was dead and never coming back. The coach stood behind me for a bit, but then walked out of the office because he didn’t know how to handle my crying.
I was then in math class. The math teacher made the students come out onto the floor and form a circle. She walked around and the other students followed her.
I stood waiting for some verbal instructions, and she yelled at me for not moving with her. I told her I was waiting for instructions, and she told me that I would fail the class. I left the room and wondered if my schedule could take dropping both math and gym.
My boyfriend was in the hallway, and as I hugged him I broke his necklace. I pretended it was an accident even though I did it on purpose. Because of the math teacher, I was no longer allowed to see him.
I got really brave one afternoon and rang his doorbell. My mom answered the door wearing a bright red vest. ‘Come in, come in,’ she said. She was very happy to see me.
We walked into an extremely large kitchen, and I wondered why I hadn’t noticed the last time I was in her home. In the very tall wall over the stove was a large glass tank filled with hundreds of gallons of water. Instead of fish, there were chickens swimming in the tank. She told me that chicken is always better when they are live and fresh.
B stood in the hallway and was very happy to get to see me. We embraced.
I was driving my little Dodge Neon and got stuck on an iced-over river. The banks of the river were too tall and too slick to drive up. I got out of the car, walked up the banks and into a house facing the river. It was just getting dark outside.
Inside the house, B was hanging sheetrock in the upstairs bathroom. A piece of wood was attached to the wall vertically splitting the wall in two, much like a door jam. He slipped a piece of sheetrock behind the wood strip for the right side of the wall. I left for a bit; when I came back B had hung lamps, framed pictures, and other doo-dads on the left side of the wall.
I was very worried and told him it was all wrong: he was supposed to hang the sheetrock first. We cannot put the pictures up before the sheetrock.
I felt like everything was spinning out of control. I left in a huff and crying. I stumbled down the steep river bank to my car. I stood staring at the car, determined to drive it out of there.
Themes: B
B knew that someone was following him taking pictures, so he asked me to pose for a few ‘juicy’ shots with him (we were not romantically involved at all); I agreed.
We pretended to make out, making sure the photographer got some great angles and shots. Getting into it, I pull my sweater over my head realizing too late that I was not wearing a bra.
He became instantly aroused and forgot about faking it for the photographer. It turned into a very hot-and-heavy petting. He grabbed my breasts, rubbing my nipples with his finger and thumb, and I curled my hand around his tree trunk of a penis.
B was dying. He had a bit of white foam coming from his lips. I leaned over, pulled on it, and out came a white string-y thing similar to an extremely long lougie. Then he collapsed on the floor. Perhaps I pulled out his soul?
He revived a bit and I suggested he see a doctor.
Themes: B
I was lying on top of B on our couch kissing. All of a sudden I was lying on top of his sister. She pulled me closer and kissed me at the base of my neck near my clavicle. I turned to my left and saw Melissa sitting at our computer watching us. I wanted her to leave us some privacy, but didn’t want to move to a more private location. I turned back and reached down to grab my partner’s butt with my left hand, and she turned back into B.
I was driving a truck and B was in the passenger seat. I was speeding home at night, going 75mph, and passed a cop parked on the right hand side of the road. The police car was dark and did not move when I passed it, but I knew I was busted. B and I switched seats, and I asked him if he minded taking the blame for my speeding. He smiled and said, “Of course not.” We both knew that his luck with speeding was better than mine.
He drove the truck the rest of the way home—which, incidentally, was my parents’ house—and I asked him if we were allowed to keep driving. “Sure,” he said. “I motioned to the cop that I wanted to drive the truck home, and he motioned that he would let me park it.”
We got out of the truck and the police car drove into the driveway. The officer walked with B and I into the house. The two of them went into the large upstairs bathroom and closed the door to talk. I went into the kitchen where I prepared food with my cousin Misti for the evening meal. B and the police officer had been in the bathroom for a very long time, and I had started to wonder what they were discussing.
Then I was standing on a dusty dirt road toward the back of a small crowd of people wearing white robes: it reminded me of a movie portraying Biblical times. Some officials brought out a prisoner with tied hands and brought him before a balance scale with two cups on each side.
They poured a white milky liquid into the cup on the right side of the scale, sending it down lower than the left side. A friend of the prisoner stepped up and filled the left cup with gold coins until it was lower than the white water. The friend had bought the prisoner’s freedom.
Then they brought B out with his hands tied. He looked dirty, tired, and beaten. The officials again poured the same white milky substance into the right cup of the balance, only this time they poured more liquid and made the cup lower. A large man with a lot of dark, curly hair on his head and chin stepped forward and put many $100 bills into the left cup.
He didn’t know that the officials were going to decide by weight. When the balance scale hardly moved, he lowered his head in shame and stepped back into the crowd. The officials declared the length of B’s sentence: 23 years.
My heart sank and I went into shock. I tried to get towards the front of the crowd to make eye contact with him and let him know that I loved him, but I was unable to move. B tossed something to a girl in front of the crowd. She turned towards me and tossed it to me.
I wondered how I would pay rent with B in a foreign prison for 23 years. I wondered how I would survive without him. I wondered if I would still have the house by the time he was free. I wondered if there was anything I could do to change his sentence. I wondered all of this as I slowly made my way through the airport to my flight.
I looked to my left and saw B next to me in an orange robe walking the same direction I was. While still looking forward, he stepped closer to me and squeezed my hand. He then stepped away and into a side room.
Themes: B
B was at home with a bad back and the apartment roof collapsed. The landlords were in the process of fixing the broken roof when I couldn’t find B. I looked in the bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, and living room, everywhere. I was very concerned that he didn’t tell me he was gone.
A little boy stayed at my apartment that afternoon. He was 6 years old and named Riley. While playing with him, I noticed there was a message on the answering machine. I played it and heard a message from the union hall about a union meeting that afternoon. I wondered why B didn’t tell me.
My mother and father came in the door all dressed up as though for church. I was in tears and very upset. I asked them where they went for so long, and they told me that they went to the meeting. They both looked and acted distracted. I asked why they didn’t take me—I would have enjoyed it. I asked where B was, and they said he was coming soon.
B walked in the door with Danny Stroud, and I was angry. I asked him where he was, why he didn’t take me, and didn’t he think that I might have liked to go with them? He tried to convince me that I didn’t want to go, but I really did. I felt abandoned. I knew he didn’t want me with him, and that no one understood why I was hurt.
I put on some music for the little boy to go to bed, and the song that played had his name in it. It was the one tape that he would fall asleep to. I pulled his friend, named Thomas, up onto the bed as well, and told him that I needed to find a song with his name in it.
Themes: B, Left Behind
I sat in a car on a cliff with B. I complained aloud that I had missed the lunar eclipse that was supposed to have been that night. I glanced at the dashboard clock and saw that it was precisely 8:30, and realized that I hadn’t missed it at all: it was supposed to happen around 8:30pm.
I grabbed my camera case as the clouds parted just enough to see the moon. It was turning red but I could not get the camera powered on or in position. I couldn’t find the buttons necessary to make it work.
The clouds then covered up the little hole they had created and the mood was again hidden. I did not get any pictures.
Themes: B
I was in our car with B driving down a road. A few hundred yards ahead of us we watched as the road was washed away because of some flooding. Officials tried to put up barricades and flag us down as fast as possible to keep us from the hole. B eventually stopped within a few short feet of falling into the hole.
We got out of the car and looked down at the hole before us. I noticed that the top of the road was sliding towards the hole: the water was eroding the road’s foundation.
I told B that we needed to back up, but he just stood there looking at the hole. I jumped into the car and put it in reverse to back up when I noticed that the side passenger mirror had been pushed up close to the car. I could not see behind me in the mirror, but I had two other mirrors and so would be fine.
We were then driving down the road later—the other way, perhaps. It was a bright sunny afternoon. We were going very fast and trying to beat the traffic. Holes appeared in the road, causing us to weave in and out of the vehicles as well as dodge holes.
Themes: B
B & I ran into my brother’s condominium. There were men following us, so we slammed the door shut to keep them out. B took the dog upstairs; I grabbed the jar of M&Ms and spilled them all over the entryway then followed B up the stairs.
My brother was in the shower but hopped out and put on a long t-shirt when he heard us enter. Lacey hid behind the washing machine and then under the desk in the bedroom, scared and shaking.
Two burglars opened the door and slipped on the M&Ms I spilled. They walked determinedly up the small stairwell. I threw bars of soap at them, but they kept coming.
Themes: B
I woke up late - the clock read just before 8:00 am - but I needed to shower because I had not showered the day before. I decided to be a little late for work and wash my hair very quickly.
In the bathroom, I gathered up all of the clothes that were hanging dry and dropped them on the bed to fold that evening. I noticed that one sweater was still damp even though it had hung for a few days, but I didn’t have time to do anything about it.
Going back to the bathroom I saw B come into the apartment but pretended to not see him. I stepped into the shower just as B poked his head through the bathroom door. He was still standing at the door when I stepped out of the shower, and I pretended to be surprised to see him.
He told me that the zipper in his Carhearts had broken and another, more important and sensitive zipper, had also broken. I expected this more sensitive broken zipper had something to do with his boxer shorts, but instead he held up a dark green backpack. He told me that he doesn’t have any more jeans for work, so we needed to buy him some that morning.
I dressed and asked my mother in the dining room if she would call the school and excuse me for being late - I would miss all of the first period and maybe some of the second period.
As she sat at the table and called the school, B and I stood to listen. She explained that we had to buy new jeans because B was getting paid that day and needed to be at work in order to get paid. She stressed the part about getting paid; she was very proud my husband had a job.
After a bit of listening I wondered aloud, “Why did I ask my mom to call the school? I am older than 18 and can excuse myself for being late.” Then B and I left to buy him some new Carhearts.
Themes: B
I was lying in bed shortly after waking talking to B when he walked from the bedroom into the kitchen. I waited for him to return so I could finish what I had been saying, but he stayed in the kitchen. I called to him, and he stepped into the bedroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. I told him that I had been talking to him, but he again walked off while I was talking.
I called to him again, but this time was angry. I got out of bed and stood in the bedroom doorway calling him. I knew he was not listening to me. He came back to the bedroom door and asked, “What?” I angrily slammed the door in his face.
I got ready for work and pulled out my new black bra. I grabbed my old black bra and cut it up, but realized I cut up my white one by mistake.
I drove to work and walked up to the office door, when all of a sudden B stood behind me. I peeked into the office door because all of the lights were on and I could hear music inside but there were no cars in the parking lot. I didn’t see anyone, but knew that someone was in the back.
B asked me what was wrong, and I told him angrily, “Nothing.” He turned to leave, and I told him to wait because there was something wrong. I told him how he had been ignoring me at home that morning even though I had called to him twice, and it had really hurt me.
He held up a recorder and asked me to say my name. I was embarrassed that he wanted to record my voice and refused to talk into the recorder.
He walked back down the driveway and turned left to run down the sidewalk. I was impressed that he had followed me to work on food instead of driving, and worried that he would be late for work.
I went into my office and saw that everything had been rearranged and redecorated. I had a nice solid wood desk with a black leather chair for me and tall red leather chairs for guests in the reception area. In the corner stood a solid wood entertainment center complete with a large television, DVD player, and a stereo system that was playing music.
It was all very plush and expensive looking. I walked through the building and saw that all of the other offices had been similarly redecorated. I loved it.
Themes: B
I turned around to flush the toilet, and watched the bowl fill with bright blue water. I didn’t remember putting one of those blue tablet things in the tank, so I removed the lid of the tank and peered inside. There was no blue tablet or dye of any sort that would make the toilet water blue. I wondered how it was blue without a tablet, but when I replaced the tank lid the water in the bowl was returning to clear.
I came out of the bathroom with my hair heavy and dripping wet. I held it carefully off of my back and clothes, but made no attempt to ring the water out of it. B and I were getting ready for a motorcycle ride.
I fiddled with my hair, and then turned to him. B was wearing a deep red, velvet, and zippered hooded sweatshirt. I pulled open the chunky gold zipper and revealed his naked chest. I opened my bathrobe, exposed my breasts, and then went to him as he fell back onto a twin-sized bed.
I wanted to straddle him while he kissed me sitting up, but he pulled me to the side so that I was lying on my back and he was on top of me.
B and I woke up early and decided we would go on a motorcycle ride before we had to leave for school. It was my first time driving the bike myself, and I was excited. We were both dressed in our leathers, boots, and helmets, when the phone rang.
He answered the phone and talked with a guy from his work. I kept an eye on the clock; it was getting closer and closer to 7:30 am, the time we had to leave for school; Melissa had already left.
B talked and talked and talked, giving his advice to some mechanical problem. By the time he hung up, the white clock pointed to 7:35 am: we were late.
I sat down on the floor beside the couch and took off my shoes to put on my sandals. I told him angrily that it was too late, and we couldn’t go on a ride. When we got to the car, I told him that I was angry he talked on the phone so long that not only were we late for school, but we were unable to go on the bike ride, something he had promised me.
I was then lying in bed, on what would be his side, as he undressed on the other side of the bed. Another couple was cuddled up on my side of the bed, cooing and laughing and kissing each other. They were in their 50s and acted like newlyweds.
I was still angry with B about him making us forego the motorcycle ride that morning. The other man in bed moved his elbow and poked it into my back. I pushed it back over to their side, but he was so enraptured with his wife that he hardly noticed.
I was trying to decide whether to be mad with B when he got into bed next to me.
Themes: B
I stood naked in the middle of a room. My dad came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist in a warm embrace. I felt very content, happy, and secure.
He moved his arms up and squished my breasts as far up as they would go; I was scared and angry. He wouldn’t let go of me even though I screamed and struggled. He grabbed my breasts forcibly, and I hated him.
I was then B lying in bed; I was not yet married. Then dad stormed into my room and yelled at me for touching and violating his daughter. I followed him into the hallway knowing that he was the one that violated her, not me.
He shoved her into the room across the hallway from my room and placed a heavy chest of drawers in front of the door to keep her locked in. I heard her sobbing behind the closed door.
B had made fun of a boy wearing bright pink and white striped jeans, and I became scared of him. I ran away from him, ran deep into the woods behind the High School; he was chasing me down. I went inside of the football team’s storage shed and asked the team manager to help me. As B drove up to the shed the manager went out and told him that I hadn’t been seen. I was very scared.
Then the dream changed.
B and I were in the forest behind the school. We were lying on a blanket under the trees and made love. When we were through, I realized we were late for class. We ran to the front office to get our late pass, but there was a new girl in the front office. She handed us each a piece of paper and told us to call the toll free late-to-class number. But we didn’t know what the number was.
I went to my first class anyway: English. Jake and Rebecca were there and discussing Shakespeare. I sat down next to them and asked if they knew what the toll free number was, but they told me to not distract them
Themes: B
Someone I knew had a stockpile of edible creams and liquids and needed to get rid of them. I was in the kitchen washing my hands when someone handed me a bottle of glow in the dark edible paint on their way out of the apartment and said, “The other two are just finishing up with the rest of it”.
I found this very suspicious, and we