Dream Journal
Damon and I were doing something in the living room and I called into the kitchen to ask if I could take a shower as I pulled the straps of my tank top over my shoulders. Judy stepped out of the kitchen very excited to see me. I was shocked because I didn’t know I was in her house.
I could hear the water running in the upstairs shower, so I went down the hall to shut it off. By the time I got there, the water stream was very small: Judy had turned the downstairs shower on for me.
I turned the water off and turned to leave the bathroom, but Sarah stood right behind me. She had a huge grin on her face and shook my hand vigorously. I gave her a hug and asked when her new husband would be back. She stiffened and her smile faltered briefly. “Soon,” she said.
I walked through the kitchen to the now-running downstairs shower and B walked into the bathroom behind me. Sarah tried to shake his hand as well but he told her to go away.
I demanded to know what he was doing there. He had lost a lot of weight and had just freshly shaved. He closed the door behind us and told me that two of my brothers — John and Marty — had gone down to B’s cabin in Homer to beat B up.
I stormed out of the bathroom and found Damon. When I told Damon what happened, he said that he had agreed it was a good idea. I was furious that they had interfered. B and I sat and talked for a long time. He wanted me back, but I told him that wasn’t a good idea.
We were flipping through a few copies of a home catalog while driving down the road. Then our car lifted off the ground, and I said, “I guess we’re flying to Anchorage.” I was upset that I hadn’t agreed to this.
My legs were folded underneath me and I didn’t want them to be cramped for the whole hour’s flight, but the plane was very small and I had trouble moving. I worried that Steve would surprise me at the airport; he wasn’t supposed to meet me but I would put that kind of surprise beyond him. Steve would be very upset that I was with B, and I didn’t know what Steve would do.
I thought about going back to B and renewing our vows. I called Kiana and asked her what Marty had done to B. She laughed and thought it was funny, but I was very angry.
Then B said something about the catalog and in frustration I called him Stephen. I closed my eyes and hoped he didn’t notice, wouldn’t know that I was living with Steve. But when I opened my eyes again I could see he was hurt.
Then B and I had stopped at a garage sale with Damon and Dana. We all carried copies of the home catalog, and when Damon started reading a passage aloud, B realized that he was missing the first page. He was angry about it and I didn’t want to tell him that I tore it out because I didn’t want him to see it.
I was looking for a wheelbarrow at the garage sale. They had a lot of furniture and some pies, but no wheelbarrow. They kept offering us pies and Damon told them we were going out for dessert after the sale, so no thank you.
I was then in a restaurant with women singing on stage. The lead singer stepped forward. She was a very large woman with very large breasts, but she wore no bra. Her large, flat breasts flopped down to her waist. I turned to Steve and asked if he saw, but he didn’t.
The woman turned very dramatically during one song and her breasts fell out of the thin fabric holding them in place. Her areolas were very large and dark. I was horrified that this was happening on stage.