Dream Journal
I had nothing to wear for work that day. I went to the thrift store and grabbed a long black skirt, two tops, and one sweater to try on. I was in a hurry because I had to be at work soon, so I tried the items on in the aisles over my pajamas.
A clerk came over to me, saying, “Ma’am! Ma’am!” I stood with a sweater halfway over my head and thought I was about to be scolded for not using a dressing room, but she asked me what the word was that described two people who are pregnant but they’re not married.
I tried to slowly pull the sweater off so as to not draw any attention to the fact that I was trying clothes on in the aisle, and I told the woman that I didn’t know the word she was looking for.
I walked toward the dressing room and saw Steve pushing a cart. He had tried on a black button-down shirt and left it unbuttoned. He held out the two sides of the shirt and wiggled his butt at me. We laughed and I thought he was cute. Steve took off his shirt and handed it to me all bunched up. I tossed it into the cart.
I looked for the jeans section, and finally found the jeans tacked to the wall. I couldn’t find my size this way, and most were too high to pull down. I was disappointed in the selection and organizing skills of this particular thrift store.
I saw a very pretty piece of fabric folded neatly on a table with a number 10 label on it. It was pink, black, and white swirled. I picked it up and discovered it was a pretty halter dress, perfect to wear to a wedding. I wanted to try it on, but it was 7am now and time for work.
Themes: Steve
Damon and I were doing something in the living room and I called into the kitchen to ask if I could take a shower as I pulled the straps of my tank top over my shoulders. Judy stepped out of the kitchen very excited to see me. I was shocked because I didn’t know I was in her house.
I could hear the water running in the upstairs shower, so I went down the hall to shut it off. By the time I got there, the water stream was very small: Judy had turned the downstairs shower on for me.
I turned the water off and turned to leave the bathroom, but Sarah stood right behind me. She had a huge grin on her face and shook my hand vigorously. I gave her a hug and asked when her new husband would be back. She stiffened and her smile faltered briefly. “Soon,” she said.
I walked through the kitchen to the now-running downstairs shower and B walked into the bathroom behind me. Sarah tried to shake his hand as well but he told her to go away.
I demanded to know what he was doing there. He had lost a lot of weight and had just freshly shaved. He closed the door behind us and told me that two of my brothers — John and Marty — had gone down to B’s cabin in Homer to beat B up.
I stormed out of the bathroom and found Damon. When I told Damon what happened, he said that he had agreed it was a good idea. I was furious that they had interfered. B and I sat and talked for a long time. He wanted me back, but I told him that wasn’t a good idea.
We were flipping through a few copies of a home catalog while driving down the road. Then our car lifted off the ground, and I said, “I guess we’re flying to Anchorage.” I was upset that I hadn’t agreed to this.
My legs were folded underneath me and I didn’t want them to be cramped for the whole hour’s flight, but the plane was very small and I had trouble moving. I worried that Steve would surprise me at the airport; he wasn’t supposed to meet me but I would put that kind of surprise beyond him. Steve would be very upset that I was with B, and I didn’t know what Steve would do.
I thought about going back to B and renewing our vows. I called Kiana and asked her what Marty had done to B. She laughed and thought it was funny, but I was very angry.
Then B said something about the catalog and in frustration I called him Stephen. I closed my eyes and hoped he didn’t notice, wouldn’t know that I was living with Steve. But when I opened my eyes again I could see he was hurt.
Then B and I had stopped at a garage sale with Damon and Dana. We all carried copies of the home catalog, and when Damon started reading a passage aloud, B realized that he was missing the first page. He was angry about it and I didn’t want to tell him that I tore it out because I didn’t want him to see it.
I was looking for a wheelbarrow at the garage sale. They had a lot of furniture and some pies, but no wheelbarrow. They kept offering us pies and Damon told them we were going out for dessert after the sale, so no thank you.
I was then in a restaurant with women singing on stage. The lead singer stepped forward. She was a very large woman with very large breasts, but she wore no bra. Her large, flat breasts flopped down to her waist. I turned to Steve and asked if he saw, but he didn’t.
The woman turned very dramatically during one song and her breasts fell out of the thin fabric holding them in place. Her areolas were very large and dark. I was horrified that this was happening on stage.
I was sitting at a large table with my family. Rodney and Jen arrived and gave everyone hugs. My dad, sitting at the table’s head, pointed them to two seats. John finally showed up, late, and looked over at the only remaining empty chair, but there is no shoulder or elbow room for someone to really sit there.
I had been pushed further and further over to make more room at the table until my small plate was right at the very corner of the table, pushing my chair out a ways. There was hardly enough room at the table for me as it was, so it would probably be better if I was moved.
Mom took John’s plate and mine and put them at a smaller round table across the room. We sat there and looked at each other, our empty plates, and the other table filled with the rest of the family. My other siblings slowly gravitated toward our table until it was full.
Heidi took Tay to the hospital for a checkup, and I offered to watch the other girls. Byrd came up to me and asked how damaging a dull pair of scissors would be to her ear; I looked up from my book and she was holding a pair of scissors at an angle on the side of her head, points down, trying to cut some hair.
I asked her why, and then I saw that she had nearly cut the top of her ear off. I was surprised it wasn’t bleeding. I took her and we went into the other room with the adults and I asked my mother if doctors could stitch up an ear. She looked up at me and I pointed to Byrd’s hanging ear.
My mother grabbed Byrd and they went off to the hospital, but not before the top of her ear falling off altogether. Everyone else followed them to the hospital, and I wandered back to the other cabin.
Two people stood in the doorway talking, and I walked around them so as not to interrupt them. When they had a break in their conversation and both looked up at me, I asked if they were aware that everyone was at the hospital because of Byrd’s ear. They looked panicked and ran off.
I sat on the couch with a book and read for a half hour or more, the house was very quiet. I suddenly realized that I should be at the hospital with everyone, too. While it would be nice to be here in case someone else came by, no one would come by because they were all at the hospital already. I jumped up to get dressed.
Themes: Dad, Left Behind, Mom
I was in the back row of a raised theatre-type seating with my legs tucked underneath me covered with a blanket. I was leaning toward Steve who was sitting on my left while a stranger sat on my right.
Steve turned to face me so that he was kneeling on his seat, sitting on his heels. I reached around him and grabbed his butt. He wore thin cotton shorts over his boxers, but I pressed my finger into his butt crack.
He rotated his hips slightly and I was able to reach his butt better. I pressed on his anus and he jumped. He pulled his shorts to the side to get rid of the layers between him and my hand, but I told him to stop because of the stranger sitting to my right. He was disappointed.
I was watching television on the computer downstairs when I realized I late for school. I had dripped food onto my new white pants so I changed into jeans. I searched around for my introductory school papers. When I found them, they said I could start at 8:15 instead of 8:00 if I do all of my paperwork at home and watch the movies in class. The clock said 7:59.
I changed back into my white pants after seeing they weren’t stained. It had only been water that had dripped onto them. I could hear my mom waking around downstairs, so I quickly went up the stairs and out the door before she could hear that I was still home.
I walked over to my car and saw that Melissa’s friend had parked it very crookedly. I pushed the unlock button on my keychain and heard a car behind me honk. I looked again and the car in my spot was a brand new silver hummer.
I turned around for my car as saw six vehicles parked three deep at the main door. All of the cars were covered in dirt and had trees growing out of the windshields.
I walked slowly around the cars wondering how that could have happened overnight. The trees didn’t look like anything that grew natively in the area, and the tree growing from my car’s windshield was the biggest of all. There was a rope attached to the top branch of this large tree.
I pulled on the rope and it unrolled and then rolled back up like a yo-yo. I pulled again and a creature jumped to the ground. The creature was grey, doughy and scared. He wanted to visit with the creature underground and he lunged for the elevator but I managed to grab him and pull him back.
The creature from underground came up and after a very long moment of staring at the thing in my arms, I introduce the two. They both smiled and went back into the elevator.
My parents had bought a very large and nice house. A man came to look at it and I had to put Lacey into a room in the basement and close the door so that she wouldn’t bark at him. The man bought the house weeks after my parents had bought it.
I asked my mom how much they made from flipping the house, and she said in awe, “$37,000.” I was surprised that they had made so much. I was happy for them, and wondered if they shouldn’t try it again.
Steve and I were trying to find a hotel in Fairbanks; we were having trouble finding any vacancies because we hadn’t made any plans until we had gotten there. I rattled off a few different hotels we could try, and thought about the one behind the mall because I’d always wanted to try it.
Then I remembered that the hotel I was thinking about is in Anchorage, not Fairbanks, and I could stay in my own home in Anchorage.