Dream Journal
I was walking down East Road in Homer when I saw a brand new Dodge Magnum parked just off the right side of, pointed away from, the road. There was a sign in the side window that read “$6000.” I walked up to the passenger side and peered through the window. The car looked like it had been barely driven, and I wondered why it wasn’t on a new car lot.
I crossed the street and talked with the car’s owner, a grizzly looking rotund man. There was something weird about him and the car, but I knew it was a great deal.
He told me the price was extremely low because he lost his keys. He handed me foot-long piece of straw (hay), and I asked what I was supposed to do with it. He said that I was to push it between the top of the window and the frame to unlock the door; if I could successfully unlock the car then he would sell it to me for $6000.
I turned back toward the car and wished I had a slim jim. I wondered how much I would be able to sell the car for; it would surely be more than $6000. I crossed the street and approached the car from the driver’s side when I noticed the window was rolled down two inches and a piece of string was tied around the manual lock.
I knew that if the man found out someone had gotten here before me I wouldn’t get the car. I squeezed my hand through the opening and pulled up on the string, unlocking the door.
Inside the car looked and felt more like a tiny motorhome. There were wooden cabinets above the seats and a large counter between the seats and the windshield. I sat in the passengers seat, dad in the drivers seat, B and Des in the back seat. We opened every cabinet and felt every surface.
We drove off towards the ocean, driving off road through the mud as much as possible. All of a sudden my dad said, “Watch this,” and pointed the car at the cliffs on the right. We sailed off the road and were falling through empty air.
Hills rolled past us, hills that I thought we would crash into at any moment. I screamed but B and Des in the back laughed; they thought it was a great and fun idea. I held my breath as I waited for impact.
We passed over three hill tops when Dad reached his hand out his window fourth hill top, which slowed our descent but also sent the car into a spin. I had no idea how we landed safely.
I sat in the car shaking for some time while everyone got out and went into the restaurant. I finally went inside and found every woman in the restaurant fawning over Des. B and I pulled him away so we could get going, and I asked B what was going on. He tossed me a folded napkin and said, “This.”
I unfolded the napkin and saw a drawing of a penis and a number, presumably drawn by Des to explain to a woman how well endowed he was. The number was so large that I knew he was lying.