Dream Journal
B and I agreed to drive Jason through town to pick up his truck. I drove my car and Jason went with B in B’s truck, following me.
I did not know exactly where Jason’s truck was, but knew that it was somewhere downtown. I pulled past a parking lot, backed up, and found a parking spot. The parking lot was deserted but for my car and there was no other traffic.
I got out of my car and could not see B’s truck anywhere. I walked down the street the way I had come looking for B and Jason. I thought I saw our truck turn a corner at the end of a cross street and started after them.
I turned the corner, and turned again at the next block. This street was in the middle of Autumn even though it should have been the middle of Summer.
All of the leaves were turning colors and falling to the ground, and many of the trees had either fallen into the street or were hanging extremely low. I had to duck to go under most of them. As I walked by Bob’s house I knew that he and his sin were the cause of the season change.
I walked through the trees by my grandparents’ home. I walked by my parents’ old house and saw dresses, my and Melissa’s old dresses, still strung up on the laundry line. I knew all of the clothes had been hanging there for years, since my parents had moved, and wondered if anyone would come back to this abandoned home and remove all of our belongings.
I walked up the trail we had used to get to the school bus and emerged at the bottom of my mother’s lawn. I walked into the basement door, up the stairs, and found my mom in the kitchen.
I went to her, crying, and told her how B had left me behind, hadn’t even waited for me to catch up. I was distraught and could hardly catch my breath from the giant sobs. I felt very angry and betrayed.
My mom explained that it wasn’t purposeful, and that he would be back. I could tell that she knew where he had gone, but she wouldn’t tell me.
I saw him drive up the road in a dark blue van and pulled into my mom’s parking spot. He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down. He appeared very laid back and was not concerned about losing me. I yelled at him for leaving me behind, and he looked right into my eyes for the first time since he arrived and said, “It isn’t every day that your father kills someone.”
He and my mom knew what he meant by this, and assumed that I knew as well. I was furious that they wouldn’t explain. I yelled incoherently through my sobs. I knew that my anger was not penetrating his nonchalance, so I flipped him off and walked away.
Themes: B, Dad, Left Behind, Mom