Dream Journal
I sat on the floor in my mother’s room against the right-hand side of the bed. She and my brother Damon sat propped up by pillows on the bed reading. She asked me if I had any push pins, and I handed her some bright blue ones. The head of the pins were plastic and larger than the metal push pins. I asked her why she needed them, and she said she needed them to mark the funny parts in her book so that she doesn’t forget them.
I picked up a Dave Barry book she had read previously and flipped through it. It was filled with those bright blue push pins punched through nearly every phrase on every page. No one could even read the book any more, there were so many push pins.
Themes: Mom
B & I ran into my brother’s condominium. There were men following us, so we slammed the door shut to keep them out. B took the dog upstairs; I grabbed the jar of M&Ms and spilled them all over the entryway then followed B up the stairs.
My brother was in the shower but hopped out and put on a long t-shirt when he heard us enter. Lacey hid behind the washing machine and then under the desk in the bedroom, scared and shaking.
Two burglars opened the door and slipped on the M&Ms I spilled. They walked determinedly up the small stairwell. I threw bars of soap at them, but they kept coming.
Themes: B
Kelli had invited me to her home for dinner. I sat at the table with her and her family; she had three boys and four girls. I had written a list of three things to pray for when we blessed the meal. We bowed our heads and Kelli’s husband prayed, her sons prayed, and then we opened our eyes as though finished.
I wondered why only the boys were allowed to pray. I thought it was very uncharacteristic of what I knew of Kelli - she had always been so outgoing with her prayer life.
When serving the food, Kelli saw my list and made everyone stop eating and pray again so I could pray for a man whose name started with a J.
Themes: Kelli
I was driving with a group of people in a blue fourteen-passenger van from Anchorage to Fairbanks. Near halfway, we stopped at a house filled with African American orphan boys. The living room of the home had been converted into a large gymnasium where the orphans practiced tricks on the tightrope and trapeze.
The oldest orphan came up to me and we spoke for a while; there didn’t seem to be any adults in the house. I agreed to take him with us to Fairbanks.
When we drove into Fairbanks, I realized that Melissa was no longer with the group. We had lost her during the trip somewhere between the orphanage and Fairbanks. I knew she didn’t have her cell phone with her, but I did not know where her cell phone was.
I called all of the places we stopped on the trip, but no one has seen her. I suggested to Damon that we try to call her cell phone and see if someone answers—hopefully it would be the person she gave her cell phone to. Damon asked me what her number was, and the number I gave him belongs to my dad’s cell phone in the waking life.
I call her cell phone from a pay phone and a woman answers. I knew that she was a fifty-year-old waitress in a Nevada truck stop wearing a bright red blouse and a lot of makeup. She said that Melissa had been there but had continued on to Hollywood.
It was so far away, and I knew I would never see her again.
Themes: Left Behind, Melissa
I was in the bathroom when I saw a very large wasp-like bee walking on the floor. Two more wasp-like bees enter under the door. I went into the hallway and saw giant bees marching in a long line like ants. They were coming from a closed doorway that might have led to the basement. At the end of the line stood three gigantic queen bees. They were each six inches long and had small baby bees (not larvae) on their backs.
I grabbed a bottle of cleaning chemicals in an aerosol can and jumped up onto the kitchen counter. I sprayed the line as best I could from on top of the counter, and I could hear them screaming.
The three queen bees scurried over to the counter and jumped as high as they could to try and get me. Thankfully, their jumps were just short of reaching the top of the counter, but I was still scared.
Melissa came into the room through a different door and froze when she saw the giant jumping queen bees. I tossed the aerosol can to her and told her to kill the bees. She kept her finger on the nozzle and soaked down the entire line with chemicals.
She sprayed so much of the can that I could see the fume cloud in her face. I wanted to warn her to be careful about the fume, but I can’t. She sat down on the couch with Seby on her right and Glory on her left. Glory passed out because of the fume, and I knew that Melissa would be next.
Themes: Melissa
In the bedroom I shared with Melissa, she slept soundly. It was the middle of the night and I stood silently over her bed. I lifted the covers and tried to coax the dog out of her bed. I would not reach under the covers to pull the dog out, but it was of the utmost importance that the dog come with me.
Themes: Melissa
I stole a semi truck and drove it around one night. There was a lot of snow on the ground and the trees were very peaceful, but I needed to return the truck before someone alerted the cops that it was missing.
I drove to a meeting hall. Inside were rows and rows of fold-up tables and a small group of men. I asked the men to help me load up the tables into my truck; I had parked it out on the road next to the woods. I knew that the police would see the men loading the truck and not think it was the stolen truck. But I did not know how much time it bought me. While they were loading the truck, I slipped away into the night.
I was in the computer room of my mother’s basement. Melissa stood in front of me wanting to play with me. I grabbed the jump rope but it is too short for both of us to jump together. It had bright pink handles and was made for a child - both of us are grown.
I turned her around so that her back is pressed close to my stomach. I said, “Ready,” so that we could synchronize our jumps and spun the rope around our heads. We both jumped over it, but it isn’t long enough to swing it back around.
I don’t try again.
Themes: Melissa
The hotel was on fire. I ran through the hallways and stumbled upon a fast food restaurant in the middle of the hotel that I did not know was there. They did not know about the fire - no alarm was going off - so I told them to get out of the building.
The hallways I was running through were meant for staff, not guests, but they are completely deserted. I was not supposed to be in the hotel - I found my way in through the parking garage.
Outside the fire engulfs the parsonage. The youth pastor was standing on the roof helping others down while the building structure was collapsing from the fire. There was nothing I could do to help, so I turned around and left.
In the ally behind the hotel, Melody tried to sell drugs to me. I couldn’t understand why she was trying to sell drugs when the building was on fire. There were more important things on my mind.
Themes: Hotel
I was sitting on a large sectional black leather couch watching television with Loren and Ryan. Ryan stood up, took my hand, and led me from the room. I looked back and Loren had a large grin on his face as he watched us leave; he knew where we were going.
Ryan led me through hallways and grand rooms of his large mansion-like home. We stopped in the bedroom and fell into bed together.
We remained fully clothed despite the level of intimacy we both desired. He was on top of me, kissing me everywhere. His hands rubbed my breasts while he repeated, “Your breasts. Your breasts.” I used my hands to press my breasts together over his face; he liked that a lot.
I got up and went into the bathroom. While there, his mother rushed into his room at 1:30 am to check on him. I smiled at our good fortune that I was in the bathroom at the time and she didn’t find us in each other’s arms because she would have had a fit. She wore a peach and white flowery satin nightgown and robe.
On my way back to his room after she left, I passed Ryan’s father in the hallway. His father nodded at me and smiled. He was wearing a dark blue or brown corduroy robe over light blue cotton pajama bottoms.
Ryan’s bedroom was huge and his bed larger than any I had ever seen before. The pillows and blankets were so thick and soft. I was at perfect peace in that room.
We resumed our clothed intercourse and I could feel his penis thrusting at my hips rhythmically. I wanted to climb on top of it and push it deep into me, but we kept our clothes on and continued with the heavy petting. It briefly crossed my mid that he once told me he was gay.
We heard his mom in the hallway, so I jumped of the bed and behind the right door of his small closet. She immediately opened the closet door and pushed me out into the hall.
The scene replays: we heard her in the hallway, so I jumped behind the left door of his closet. I was unable to keep my balance and leaned back into the hanging clothes. She probably heard the hangers move on the rack. She opened the closet door and pushed me out into the hall.
The scene replays: we heard her in the hallway, but this time I decided to stay in bed with her son.
I woke up late - the clock read just before 8:00 am - but I needed to shower because I had not showered the day before. I decided to be a little late for work and wash my hair very quickly.
In the bathroom, I gathered up all of the clothes that were hanging dry and dropped them on the bed to fold that evening. I noticed that one sweater was still damp even though it had hung for a few days, but I didn’t have time to do anything about it.
Going back to the bathroom I saw B come into the apartment but pretended to not see him. I stepped into the shower just as B poked his head through the bathroom door. He was still standing at the door when I stepped out of the shower, and I pretended to be surprised to see him.
He told me that the zipper in his Carhearts had broken and another, more important and sensitive zipper, had also broken. I expected this more sensitive broken zipper had something to do with his boxer shorts, but instead he held up a dark green backpack. He told me that he doesn’t have any more jeans for work, so we needed to buy him some that morning.
I dressed and asked my mother in the dining room if she would call the school and excuse me for being late - I would miss all of the first period and maybe some of the second period.
As she sat at the table and called the school, B and I stood to listen. She explained that we had to buy new jeans because B was getting paid that day and needed to be at work in order to get paid. She stressed the part about getting paid; she was very proud my husband had a job.
After a bit of listening I wondered aloud, “Why did I ask my mom to call the school? I am older than 18 and can excuse myself for being late.” Then B and I left to buy him some new Carhearts.
Themes: B