Dream Journal
I got out of bed and went to my garden to cut some basil for Kelli at work. When I got there, I saw that the entire garden had already been harvested. I could not remember cutting all of my herbs and vegetables, but I knew that only I could have done it. Kelli would have to go without basil.
Themes: Kelli
I turned around to flush the toilet, and watched the bowl fill with bright blue water. I didn’t remember putting one of those blue tablet things in the tank, so I removed the lid of the tank and peered inside. There was no blue tablet or dye of any sort that would make the toilet water blue. I wondered how it was blue without a tablet, but when I replaced the tank lid the water in the bowl was returning to clear.
I came out of the bathroom with my hair heavy and dripping wet. I held it carefully off of my back and clothes, but made no attempt to ring the water out of it. B and I were getting ready for a motorcycle ride.
I fiddled with my hair, and then turned to him. B was wearing a deep red, velvet, and zippered hooded sweatshirt. I pulled open the chunky gold zipper and revealed his naked chest. I opened my bathrobe, exposed my breasts, and then went to him as he fell back onto a twin-sized bed.
I wanted to straddle him while he kissed me sitting up, but he pulled me to the side so that I was lying on my back and he was on top of me.
B and I woke up early and decided we would go on a motorcycle ride before we had to leave for school. It was my first time driving the bike myself, and I was excited. We were both dressed in our leathers, boots, and helmets, when the phone rang.
He answered the phone and talked with a guy from his work. I kept an eye on the clock; it was getting closer and closer to 7:30 am, the time we had to leave for school; Melissa had already left.
B talked and talked and talked, giving his advice to some mechanical problem. By the time he hung up, the white clock pointed to 7:35 am: we were late.
I sat down on the floor beside the couch and took off my shoes to put on my sandals. I told him angrily that it was too late, and we couldn’t go on a ride. When we got to the car, I told him that I was angry he talked on the phone so long that not only were we late for school, but we were unable to go on the bike ride, something he had promised me.
I was then lying in bed, on what would be his side, as he undressed on the other side of the bed. Another couple was cuddled up on my side of the bed, cooing and laughing and kissing each other. They were in their 50s and acted like newlyweds.
I was still angry with B about him making us forego the motorcycle ride that morning. The other man in bed moved his elbow and poked it into my back. I pushed it back over to their side, but he was so enraptured with his wife that he hardly noticed.
I was trying to decide whether to be mad with B when he got into bed next to me.
Themes: B
I was in a cave with a large group of people. Someone towards the back of the cave had a mental breakdown. I watched as something invisible moved through the cave, affecting a select few in the same way. I grabbed my ears and shook my head back and forth, wailing at the back of my throat.
The leader of the cave group led five of us, the affected ones, out of the cave with some dogs that were running in circles and barking. Once we were outside and the entrance to the cave locked, the pain in our heads subsided.
The dogs were then extremely hungry and mean. They paced back and forth, back and forth, looking at us and salivating. We were scared they were going to eat us, but there was nothing we could do to protect ourselves. We stood with our backs to the cave door, looking out across a valley and snowy mountaintops. There was no civilization in sight.
I went to a cheap car wash and arrived just as another car was leaving. I felt fortunate at the timeliness of my arrival, and pulled into the garage. I sprayed down my car with water, grabbed a bucket and started to scrub.
Every time I turned around the owner and her kids (a lot of them) kept putting stuff on top of the car. I had to keep moving the stuff to the floor so I could wash it.
When I had finished spraying the soap off of the car, I asked her about getting it waxed, and she talked for a long while about something philosophical and completely unrelated to car wax. When I got back to the car it had turned into a wooden fold up table crammed with stuff, but I still couldn’t find any wax.
She and I stood in a field looking into the distance. She talked nonstop about nebulous concepts I had trouble following. I grabbed her over the shoulders and firmly ask about the waxing. She looked at me as though seeing me for the first time and said that it would take until Saturday to wax it.
I was furious because I had wasted this much time, and I couldn’t leave the car overnight. I told her that it was our only car (a lie) and that I could not leave it with her overnight. I asked about the blue and pink spray wax stuff they used to have that smelled like bubblegum, and her oldest son laughed at my ignorance.
I looked through some clothing hanging on coat racks around the perimeter of the garage. I touched a lot of the coats and blouses. When I got to the end rack, a lot of the clothing fell down.
She was angry that I made a mess of everything. A few coat hooks fell, causing more clothing to fall behind the couch. Then all the hooks and their screws dropped back behind the couch as well. I just wanted to take my car and go.
I stood naked in the middle of a room. My dad came up behind me and slipped his arms around my waist in a warm embrace. I felt very content, happy, and secure.
He moved his arms up and squished my breasts as far up as they would go; I was scared and angry. He wouldn’t let go of me even though I screamed and struggled. He grabbed my breasts forcibly, and I hated him.
I was then B lying in bed; I was not yet married. Then dad stormed into my room and yelled at me for touching and violating his daughter. I followed him into the hallway knowing that he was the one that violated her, not me.
He shoved her into the room across the hallway from my room and placed a heavy chest of drawers in front of the door to keep her locked in. I heard her sobbing behind the closed door.