Dream Journal
My mother and I were sitting on the front bench seat in her old red suburban. She was sitting in the passengers seat, and I on the left in what would be the driver’s seat if the steering wheel had been there: it wasn’t. I knew we were in a car because there were visors attached to the ceiling. Attached to my visor were three of my black hair claws. I immediately remembered that I had left them in mom’s car.
I was turned slightly towards my mom and she towards me. I asked her how her dog was doing, and mom told me that she (the dog) had walked back to the car and sat there, still as a statue, for two hours straight. While she told me this I envisioned the white fluffy poodle mix walking very slowly towards mom’s Yukon and sitting in the back.
I looked at the visor and saw that my hair claws were holding pieces of paper to the visor. I removed them, unfolded them as they were all folded many times, and found that they were checks written out to me.
I was very concerned at the dog’s behavior, and asked mom what had happened. She told me that dad had punched her in the head, on her scull. I was furious; I had known that he had hit the dog in the past, but this time he seriously injured her. I stared forward cursing him quite loudly. I yelled swear words at the dashboard.
I turned to mom and pleaded her to let me take the dog. I feared that if I didn’t do something, dad would kill the dog the next time he abused her. But mom refused. I kept asking; she kept refusing.
I was then lying on the seat under a heavy wool blanked with my back towards my mom. I quickly turned over and told mom that I could buy the dog. I showed her my checks as proof that I had the money. I was crying for this small dog. I told her that dad didn’t have to know that I knew about him hitting her, just that I wanted to buy her. Mom shook her head and told me that I couldn’t take the dog. She said that in a few years I wouldn’t have to deal with dad and therefore shouldn’t make it difficult for the rest of them who did have to deal with him once I was gone.
I felt furious and helpless. I awoke sobbing.