Dream Journal
I was on a small airplane and we were getting ready to land. There was only one seat on each side of the plane and B was sitting across from me. We were returning home from our honeymoon. The stewardess said that she had an announcement to make that would take only fifteen minutes before landing. I had wanted to change my clothes before landing, but decided that this message the stewardess had was more important and changing could wait. She talked for some time, mentioning that at the end of the flight some ice cream would be passed out. When she was done talking, the pilot was just setting the plane on the runway. I was kind of annoyed that I didn’t get time to change and that ice cream hadn’t been served like she had said it would be.
I got off the plane and was in the anchorage airport even though it looked nothing like anchorage’s airport. I was standing out in the hallway right next to a large supporting column and wondered where B was. I saw him heading back into the terminal. The terminal was separated from the rest of the hallway and building by a large spread of glass doors. I could barely see the terminal around the column, but I stood there and waited for B to come back out and see me, wondering what he was doing back in the terminal. I got tired so I sat down on a bench next to the tower on the side opposite of the terminal. And waited and waited.
Sitting there I saw an airport personnel pushing our planes luggage on a large cart towards the luggage claim. On his cart I saw my backpack and my blue duffel bag. After some time of waiting I got back up and looked into the terminal once more for B. I saw a few people sitting at computers and not one of them were B. He wasn’t in the terminal and I didn’t know where he had gone. But I did know that he had left me.
I walked around the airport looking for him or someone else I knew. I was crying because I had been left behind on our honeymoon. I ended up sitting down at a table in one of the food court places. I looked up briefly from crying and saw dad and aunt Cris heading in to a nice restaurant with their arms linked together. I cried out, “daddy!” but he didn’t see me. Cris came over and asked me accusingly where my wedding ring was. I held up my left hand and screamed into her face that I didn’t have one.
I got up from my table and walked away, stopping at a table closer to the entrance. On it were papers and my ring - I had left all of this stuff here while I was sitting and crying. I picked it up and put it on… but on my right hand. It looked like my wedding ring in the waking world, but in my dream it wasn’t my wedding ring.
I walked through the airport corridors until Muffy Wise caught my attention and told me that there was a message for me on her answering machine. She led me to a table covered with many black answering machines, all of them blinking with messages. She left so I could listen to my message, but I didn’t know which one was for me. Frank Wise was there and told me which button on which machine to push.
The message left for me was very professional and courteous. After B and I had landed in anchorage, we had planned to take a cruise the rest of the way home. The male voice on the answering machine told me that he was very concerned that I had not made the ship before it left. B had gone ahead onto the ship without me. This made me even more upset.
Then I was sitting in a large computer lab with some old high school classmates. One classmate, briar, had an amazingly advanced knowledge of computer programming. I had a problem with my computer and she fixed it for me in no time. Then she stood in the center of the room and did a ballet solo. I left feeling just as awful as when I went in there.
I was in a room talking with my pastor from when I was still living with my parents. He got a phone call and said that it was for me. I picked it up and on the other end was B. I began crying so hard that I couldn’t catch my breath. I asked him over and over again why he left me at the airport instead of taking me with him. He laughed very hard at my crying. I became furious at him laughing at my hurt feelings and slammed the phone down. I had no desire to talk to him.
Next thing I know, I am on the cruise ship with B and the captain. B had gotten the captain to turn the ship around to come pick me back up. There was a bunch of other people in the small area. I saw one girl about my age and I asked B if he had slept with her. He answered with a ‘yeah’ in a tone that implied: “Yeah, of course - why wouldn’t I?” I was devastated that he would do something like that to me, especially on our honeymoon.
I asked what room we were in and B told me room 1200. I ran for the room - it was right near where we were standing - and slammed the door. All I wanted was to be away from him. The door had two locks - one flimsy bathroom stall type lock in the center of the door and a dead bolt at the very top. All the while crying, I locked the stall lock just before B got to the door. He grabbed the knob on the outside and pulled and pulled until he broke the lock and opened the door. I somehow got the door closed again and managed to get the dead bolt locked. He kept pulling on the door and had it so that the whole thing was coming off of its hinges - the only place that held was that dead bolt.
I was crying so hard that I could barely stand. He finally got the door open and I ran down the ships hall as fast as I can. I came to a movie rental store on the boat. It was filled with people browsing through the movies. I found it odd that someone would rent movies on their vacation. I was running through the store when a man popped his head out from one of the aisles, stopped me and asked me where I was going. He seemed genuinely concerned. I told him as far away as I could get.
I kept going and ended up listening to one of those piano players slash singers slash entertainers. I was sitting pretty close to the piano trying to forget how terrible I was feeling and how poorly B had been treating me. The pianist played for a bit then stopped mid-phrase. He was missing some music… but this was all a part of the show. He began unfolding his music, then played what he had unfolded. Then unfolded it some more and played it some more. He unfolded it again and again until his piece of music took over the entire piano and he was able to complete his piece.
After he was done I sat in my seat, all alone, and cried until my throat and sides and stomach and heart hurt.
Themes: Airplane/Airport, Left Behind