Dream Journal
I was sitting at my grandparents’ house talking with childhood friend Marty and my sister Melissa. He was saying that he needed to call his wife, Joni. I asked him why he was staying here and she was staying at her parents’ place, why they weren’t staying together. He sighed and said that’s the way it’s been since the honeymoon when her mom came along.
I went outside with my grandpa and he told me about his plans to renovate the basement. He was going to tear it all out and make a larger garage. I saw that he had drawn a large circle on the corner of the garage, indicating that it was the part to be torn out. He told me that he had rented some large machines to help make the job go faster. I was intrigued when he asked if I would help, and immediately agreed.
We decided to test the machine that would cut through the basement and separate it from the upper floor. This machine was like a giant frisbee with spikes all around the edge that cut through concrete and steel beams and house stuff. We tried it, and it went right into the basement, just like we had wanted. However, there was a man with his kid inside their truck that was parked inside the garage.
They were very lucky to be lying on the floor doing wiring stuff, because this giant frisbee flew through the garage and, in slow motion, cut through the top of the truck bed and through the top half of the cab. If either one of them had been sitting up, they would be dead. But they both made it out of the garage ok.
Now that the garage had been sliced up, we were going to bomb it. The bombs we had were about 4” in diameter, black, and spherical. From a school bus, we threw bomb after bomb out the windows. There were many people helping now. Every time someone threw a bomb, I would duck under the seat so that I wouldn’t be harmed if the bomb landed too close to the bus.
Someone threw a bomb, but it didn’t make it out the window. Instead, it had landed in my seat. I grabbed it and held it while trying frantically to get my window open… it was a bus window where two tabs have to be pushed in towards the center in order to slide it down. I couldn’t get the window open because the tabs to push in were almost inaccessible. It was as if the roof had been pushed in to the point where it obscured the window tabs. Grandpa stood and watched me trying to get the window open. I gave the bomb to the person in front of me so that I could get the window open easier. I finally got it open and threw the bomb out the window.
We pulled the bus around the corner of the house. Almost a mile away at the bottom of a canyon was a large lava flow covering a city in California. Someone told Grandpa that the military had ordered us to stop bombing, in fear that some bombs would miss the house and land in the lava flow. That would be devastating for everyone involved. Grandpa said that it was nonsense and continued bombing.
It was my second wedding day. Something had gone wrong with the first marriage to B, and we either had to do it again or I had to marry someone else. This part of the dream wasn’t entirely clear. I was standing in the foyer of my parents’ church trying to get my moms attention for some chap stick. But she was busy talking with a gaggle of women. I kept trying and kept trying, getting louder and louder, but still I was ignored.
I turned around and on the gift table I saw only five small gifts, and every one of them said: “to Steph and Valette.” Stephanie, a childhood friend, was trying to take my day from me. This wasn’t her wedding, but she was taking charge of everything. I was furious. I went to the door of the sanctuary, knowing full well that the guests could see me, and called Stephanie out into the foyer. She was recording the extremely high prices of the wedding gifts. She was quite large - either pregnant or fat. I yelled at her for taking the spotlight of my day. I yelled and cried about never asking her to help in any way with the wedding, and how dare she butt in. I demanded that she go sit down.
At this time everyone in the foyer stopped talking for a bit, and Aunt Judy told me that I was a bit harsh on her. I ran crying into the bathroom, full of rage. Aunt Judy followed me in and asked me what was wrong. I told her that I didn’t have my something old, something new, something borrowed, or something new. She got a puzzled look on her face, as though she had no clue how to fix it. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket and drew a blue flower on it, thinking it would be acceptable for my something blue.
Melissa had come into the bathroom, and I realized that I didn’t have my garter on. I asked her to run home and get it since we still had fifteen minutes before the ceremony was to start. But then I remembered that it was still hanging in my closet in Fairbanks. I told her that and cried some more.
Aunt Judy left, and Melissa asked me how she looked. She was holding her bouquet of long-stemmed purple flowers with all but one tucked under her armpit. I pulled the flowers out and laid them neatly for her, then gave my approval. We walked over to the sanctuary doors together because we were going to walk down the aisle together. I wondered why I didn’t have flowers, and why she did - since this was my wedding day. I didn’t know if I should hold her arm, or if she should hold my arm, or if we should even touch. I decided to hold her hand, and we started down the aisle.
I was in a high school gymnasium (not the high school I had attended) during a basketball game. I was standing up in the bleachers with my friends Pam and Tina. We weren’t talking - just standing. Pam was going to say something, and I knew that it was going to be about her needing to go to bed really soon. Instead, she said that we all had to leave, acting as if we were standing in her bedroom.
I was mad not because she didn’t say what I thought she was going to, but because she was drastically truncating our visit. She reached out toward me to give me a hug and she said something like ‘you’re a great person’ or ‘you’re a great friend’. I was so maddened by this that I shook my head in disgust and backed away so that she couldn’t hug me.
I left the school and was outside walking to my car. The evening was dark already but not cold. I don’t know what time of the year it was. I heard someone coming out of the doors just behind me, and I was certain that it was Pam trying to catch up with me. I didn’t speed up, but I didn’t slow my pace, either. I then realized that I had locked my keys in my car. I saw about 100 meters beside the main entrance was a lighted area with a few pay phones. I walked toward them in order to call home all the while expecting Pam to catch up with me. But then the person was gone, and I realized that it hadn’t been Pam at all, only someone else going to their car. I was disappointed that she hadn’t been pursuing me.
I reached the phones and picked up the receiver to call home. I started to dial the number, but couldn’t remember what it was. My current phone number was on the tip of my mind, but it wouldn’t come out. I pulled out a few thick telephone books to see if I could find it in one of them. There were a few people there now as well, and they offered to help. We sat at a table directly in front of the phone for some time looking for the number when I looked up and saw that there were a lot of people waiting for the telephone - the one I was blocking. I apologized and moved out of the way, letting a guy get on the phone.
At that moment the phone number popped into my head. However, this number was my mom’s phone number, not my current one. But my dreaming self was convinced that this was what I needed to remember. I got back on the phone and dialed the number. I talked to my mom for a little bit trying to arrange a way to get my car home and possibly me. I had the sense that it was very late and I had awoken her. I considered saying that Melissa would give me a ride, when I remembered that she had come with me.
I wondered where she was when Damon appeared behind my left shoulder. He said that he was getting a ride home with some friends; once there he would borrow moms car and come back to get me. I almost felt that he was drunk - a little too giddy for his own good. Definitely not a normal personality for him. I agreed to wait for him to get back here.
I turned around and then I was wearing a short white skirt, white tennis shoes with colorful scribbles on them, and white kneepads. Each kneepad had a loop that hung down about four inches from the bottom of the pad: each end of the loop was attached to one side of the pad. I had the sense that they were very important.
I was in a room with a lot of other people. It was similar to backstage of a fashion show, and I even had my own ‘area’ in which to change and stuff. I approached my area and bent down to fiddle with my shoe. The guy whose area was to my immediate right saw me and squatted with me, grinning. He was romantically interested in me - I didn’t tell him that I was married, but I definitely didn’t hide my wedding ring.
We talked for some time, and I decided to change my shoes. I had two other people helping me change, and the new shoes I was to put on were black stiletto sandals. But at the bottom of the tiny heel was a small flat piece, making the heel look like a capital “L” when viewing the shoe from the side. But I couldn’t get my foot into it because all the straps wouldn’t lie where they were supposed to lie.
Themes: Pam & Tina
Damon, Dana and I were driving down a long country road in the middle of the night during the winter. The sky was completely covered by the dense trees we were driving through. Dana was driving, Damon in the passengers seat, I in the back, and their two dogs were in the vehicle with us. We were coming upon a house with a lot of vehicles parked in the yard - this was the place we were looking for. The yard was slightly lit by a yard light. I decided to crawl out of the cab of the car (a four door sedan style vehicle) and into the bed of the pickup truck: this bed was a part of the car, and it seemed normal.
The parking lot was pretty icy and Dana was going a bit fast. She put on her brakes in the yard and the car started spinning because of the ice. I was scared and held onto the side of the truck bed tight so that I wouldn’t fall off (I was sitting on the edge). The car kept spinning until it went over the edge of a small cliff nose first. The front of the car smashed into a tree at the bottom, and completely crumbled.
Damon and Dana were all right and I somehow managed to stay in the back and on the edge of the truck bed, but I was worried about the dogs. We got them out of the car and started walking with them towards another house. It was summer and daytime now and my other brother was playing with his dogs in the front lawn of the house. We stood and watched for some time, then decided it would be better for the dogs elsewhere. So we went back to the wrecked car.
We wanted to go buy some comic books, and Beth wanted to go with us. We had been driving for a few hours before she asked where we were going. B was driving, Beth was in the passengers seat, and I was in the back. He looked over at Beth and casually said, “Anchorage.” She wasn’t terribly chocked that we were headed out of town instead of going to the local comic shop. It took a very long time to drive to anchorage due to construction. We saw Melissa on the road, and she gave us a ride the rest of the way into anchorage.
She dropped B and I off at my parent’s place then drove on into town in her little car. Someone I don’t know asked dad accusingly why he let his daughter drive in the city alone. Dad didn’t see a problem with it. My parents had a lot of dogs, all of which I hadn’t seen before. I went into Melissa’s room and saw my dog it was a little, hyper thing, running all over Melissa’s bed, unable to sit still. I was trying to coax it up close to me, but at that time Melissa drove into the yard, and a larger dog came into the room and started barking, too much commotion for the little dog.
Then B and I were talking with my parents and Melissa about our apartment hunt. Melissa didn’t understand the term ‘unfurnished,’ so I had to explain it to her and listed for her the furniture we own. She asked if we had a headboard; I told her no.
I was then naked but for my panties, leaning over the back of the couch in the living room trying to remember someone’s name. But I couldn’t. There was a shower stall/bath tub right behind me, and I stepped in. I stood with my back to the faucet and my hair under the water for some time with my eyes closed.
After thoroughly soaking my hair, I opened my eyes and saw my father standing at the other end of the tub. I didn’t find this strange or wrong at all. He was dressed in black pants and a black shirt. I asked him why he was still dressed (he was going to take a shower, after all) and he said that he didn’t want to undress in front of everyone in the living room. It made sense to me. I grabbed a towel off the rack yet stayed in the shower stall.
After I finished drying my face, I saw that my mom was now standing in the tub fully clothed. She was holding a dishtowel and was rubbing my fathers nipples uncertainly. I noticed that her nails were perfectly manicured. He turned his head to her and reached for her hands tenderly. I felt awkward seeing this. Not embarrassed for what they were doing, but awkward in the sense that they should be alone. I brought the towel back up to my face, not wanting them to know I saw anything. I then realize that I had showered with my glasses on and they were covered with water drops. I took them off.
I was at another persons house, someone I didn’t know, for dinner. They were providing a great service in feeding me, and I was very grateful. A few hours before dinner was to be served, a gentleman, not of this family’s relation, showed up in the house. I didn’t know who he was or where he came from, but I did know that he had many dangerous secrets and a few different identities.
I was in the upstairs of their house and walked by the office when I noticed that he was on the computer in their office. Already with one foot on the stirs, I leaned into the office and told him to be careful and erase all his tracks cleanly, so as to not leave any traces of being on that particular computer. He was confused, probably at why I was telling him that unless I knew his true identity. I then told him, ‘All I’m saying is don’t be stupid, ok?’ and continued my walk down the stairs.
Just before dinner started, the gentleman had left, and the hostess of the house told me that I had an email. I went upstairs to check it, and it was from the gentleman who was there earlier. It was in the format of all those fill-in quizzes passed around through email, but it told me about his secret missions and who he really was. His mission had to do with a country in Africa, and many people were suffering. I replied to his email, though I do not remember what I told him. I then typed out a false email to a false address regarding some china for sale on eBay. I told my invisible recipient that plate racks did come with the set, one for each plate, and that I hoped she liked it enough to bid on it.
I then looked down the folders side of the email program and waded through hundreds of folders before I came to one with my name on it. I deleted the entire program, as well as the emails from the ‘sent’ folder and the ‘deleted’ folder. Then, because I had an email folder in this stranger’s home, I looked for a folder with the gentleman’s name on it. I found it and also deleted that one, thinking he had been pretty stupid to forget that. I came out of the office and went down for dinner.
Once there, the living room had been turned into a large business office with many cubicles and printers and such. One lady handed out a bunch of really colorful magazine pages, all folded in thirds, to me. They were all pages I had torn out of magazines because they were so beautiful and rich. Every one had vibrant colors that a few people couldn’t turn away from them. I looked at the front and thought that it was terrible I couldn’t read the printing, but then I realized that they had been printed on the back. On the back of them had been printed my fake email about the china on eBay, and on a select few had been printed my email to the gentleman. I told the lady that I had torn some of these pages from the Martha Stewart magazine. I made sure that no one unfolded the magazine picture to look at it (which everyone wanted to see the beautiful pages) and that no one saw the letters to the gentleman.
B and I had been invited for dinner at my parents’ house. There was a lot of people there, and a lot of food as well. We stayed for some time after the dinner, but left as soon as we were able without being rude. Being still light, we decided to go for a nice drive through the hills. We came upon an old barn that housed many old, vintage vehicles in spectacular condition. We wandered around for some time, when B called to me from a few stalls down. I went to see, and he had found a small airplane. There was a thin white paper covering its frame, and it looked like it would never run again.
I ran my hand over its tail, and the plane turned into a large brown horse. B said that the last people to find it only washed half of the horse then asked if I would like to help him finish. I said sure, it sounded like fun. There was a bucket and brushes nearby; we each grabbed a brush and a lady appeared. She was there to instruct us in how to properly wash a horse. One thing she instructed me to do was to grab the horse’s lips and hold them. I didn’t really want to do this, but I turned to the horse anyway. The horse had its lips puckered out and its tongue sticking out - seemingly to be difficult with the whole washing process. It was a lot of fun, but the lady kept smirking to another person who appeared shortly after she did. I couldn’t figure out why they were smirking like that, but it didn’t bother me much because I was having fun.
There was a clearing in the woods from where we were standing… like a large path. B kept looking towards it, almost like he recognized it but he wasn’t sure where from. One time he got all excited and asked me if I recognized it. I didn’t. He told me that at the very far end there was a little white building. That building was on my parents’ property behind their shop. I then recognized it. The two individuals teaching us how to wash the horse were gone, and we decided that we didn’t really need to finish the horse - it was pretty clean already. So we got back into the car and drove down the path towards my parents place.
The car is now in the middle of the woods and filled with a bunch of people including my sister, but not including B. And I can no longer see the end of the path at my parents’ house. In front of us is another vehicle of people. They stop abruptly and run from the car as fast as they can into the woods. We all get out and look down a small little path in the direction they went, but no one had taken the path. Melissa wondered why. But I knew that there was a white dinosaur on that path that would eat whomever walked on it - I could see it plain as day though no one else could. Without hurrying, Melissa and the others went into the woods to look for the others, leaving both vehicles parked.
There was a lot of commotion and screaming in the brush, but it alarmed no one in the search party even though I knew what it was - another dinosaur had eaten the passengers of the other vehicle. We all searched for some time and found no one, so we went back to our vehicle to try and drive around theirs. The path was too narrow, however, so we had to push it out of the way so ours could get by. This took a lot of work. While we were combining efforts to push the second vehicle, the white dinosaur came out of its path and started attacking something. This is when I understood that it only attacked things that were white, just as red dinosaurs only attacked red things. I looked down and realized that I was wearing a white tee shirt like I always do. I was then hanging upside down, bringing the dinosaurs attention to me. Where I was and how I got there I did not know.
Themes: Airplane/Airport, B